Summary of Story #5
Sofia tells about her friends Emily, Sarah, Kelly, and Maya in the Green Far Away Hug Circle. When they come to her birthday party, she explains that she has known some of her friends since she started kindergarten. She sees them at school and after school. They have many similar interests and common bonds, and they know each other’s likes and dislikes. Sofia likes her friends and enjoys being with them. She tells us about some of the deciding factors that qualify these relationships as close friendships.
Teacher’s Note:
The Green Far Away Hug Circle usually includes extended family members and close friends. A green far away hug can be a non-body-to-body hug, a one-arm hug, or even a pat on the back or shoulder. It is usually brief. Some students may have difficulty discriminating a friend from a paid caregiver. Take this opportunity to help them figure out which of the people they know and like are paid caregivers as differentiated from family or friends. You may also find that students do not have “friendships.” This may suggest an area that needs further development in your classroom. Remember, relationships, including friendships, must be mutual.
Program Aim
- To establish the degree of intimacy associated with the Green Faraway hug Circle using friends as an example of an affectionate relationship.
Methods
Step 1
Review the items from the evaluation section of “My Relatives” replaying the video vignette and/or the highlights section using reminders and cues as necessary.
- Who is the most important person in your world of CIRCLES?
- Have students show the sign for the Green Far Away Hug Circle.
- What kind of touch, talk, and trust is acceptable with a person in the Green Far Away Hug Circle who is in your extended family?
Step 2
Inform students that today they will learn more about the Green Far Away Hug Circle.
Step 3
Show the video vignette “My Closest Friends” and pause for discussion when the story concludes.
Step 4
Elicit the Deciding Factors from students, either from their memory or by replaying the video vignette:
- Sofia knows Emily, Sarah, Kelly, and Maya since they were little girls in school.
- Sofia sees her friends on school days, at parties, and when they visit each other at home.
- Sofia likes the same activities as her friends including talking about fun times together.
- Sofia knows her friends’ likes and dislikes. And they in turn know Sofia’s. In fact, they pooled their money to buy special concert tickets for her birthday. She was thrilled.
- Sofia shows her feelings by smiling and laughing when she’s with her friends. She hugs them too, with far-away hugs.
- Sofia and her friends have a good time when they are together.
- Sofia and her friends are not abusive to each other. They do not hurt each other on purpose.
Step 5
Teacher uses the laminated figural icons with the wall-mounted CIRCLES graph to demonstrate the placement of the new characters on the CIRCLES graph. Teacher asks each student to select laminated figural icons (or photos) representing themselves and a person with whom they have this kind of relationship. Teacher asks the student to name the figural icons (or photos) and place them appropriately on the mounted CIRCLES graph while describing that relationship.
Step 6
Ask students:
- How are your friendships like Sofia’s friendships?
- How are your friendships different from Sofia’s friendships?
Reassure students that no two friendships are exactly the same. If the overall emotional tone of the relationship is friendly and affectionate, as expressed by touch, talk, and trust, then that individual is well placed in the Green Far Away Hug Circle.
Step 7
Distribute personal CIRCLES graphs, markers/crayons/colored pencils, and“Peel n’ Stick” icons. Have students identify which circle surrounds the Blue Big Hug Circle. Ask students to color the circle green. Refer to the CIRCLES wall graph and use figural icons (or photos) to demonstrate how students can personalize their CIRCLES graphs. Have students personalize the Green Far Away Hug Circle by using the “Peel n’ Stick” icons which best represents their extended family members or surrogates they place there, making sure that the Six Deciding Factors are satisfied.
Step 8
Direct students, one after the other, to stand front and center of the CIRCLES wall graph. Remind them that they are in the Purple Private Space, the center of all of their Circles. Have students demonstrate the sign for the Green Far Away Hug Circle from that position. Point out the closeness that is involved in the Green Far Away Hug Circle relationships and compare it to the preceding circles. Point out that the Green Far Away Hug Circle is at a distance that precludes hugging closely.
Step 9
Tell students, or elicit from students if they are able, the following information about touch, talk, and trust with friends in their Green Far Away Hug Circle:
- Touch - Sofia shares friendly, affectionate far away hugs with her friends on special occasions.
- Talk - Sofia shares personal news and confides in her friends
- Trust - Sofia knows she can generally trust her friends not to hurt her feelings on purpose.
Step 10 (Optional)
Practice using the Circles Social Skills Utility™ focusing on friends in the Green Far Away Hug Circle
For Greater Depth (Optional)
Help students to demonstrate their understanding of the levels of touch, talk, and trust with friends in their Green Far Away Hug Circle by using the following roleplays as rehearsal opportunities and emphasizing the elements of touch, talk, and trust within the role play. Here are some suggested situations for your students to roleplay the level of touch, talk, and trust that is appropriate for friends in the Green Far Away Hug Circle.
- Invite a friend to your house to spend the afternoon (by phone or in person).
- Tell your friend who you would like to have a date with and get their opinion about it.
- Show what you would do if your friend forgot to bring lunch.
- Show what you would do if your friend had an operation and was out of work/school for a long time.
- Show what you would say and do if your friend won a contest.
Summary
Replay the video vignette as needed to reinforce students’ skill development and comprehension. Tell students that when they have friends in their Green Far Away Hug Circle, their relationships with these friends may include a wide range of touch, talk, and trust; but not sexual, intimate or romantic touch, talk, or trust.
Evaluation
Teacher will question and review, playing video if desired:
- Who is the most important person in your world of CIRCLES?
- Ask students to show the sign for the Green Far Away Hug Circle.
- What kind of touch, talk, and trust is acceptable with a person in the Green Far Away Hug Circle who is your friend?
For Greater Depth (Optional)
Have students explain why they chose the Green Far Away Hug Circle for the friends they selected.
Support Activities:
- Have students make a list of activities they enjoy doing with friends.
- Ask students to pick someone they feel friendly toward and play a game with them.
- Have students get to know a friend better by asking the following questions: How do they take their coffee? What is their favorite ice cream, color, activity, sport, music group, or baseball team? What do you want to be when you grow up? Report back to class.
- Refer to other Stanfield videos that model friendship-building skills and getting along with others including selections from the LifeSmart® series, Home of Your Own®, and/or Making The Effort™. Visit www.stanfield.com for more information.
For Greater Depth (Optional)
Ask students to share what factors they would consider before placing a person in the Green Far Away Hug Circle as a friend, such as...
- Know the person for a long time
- See them or be in touch with them often
- Share some common bonds
- Know them well
- Have friendly feelings for them
- Not be hurtful on purpose
For Critical Thinking (Optional)
Ask students to share what factors they would consider before placing a person in the Green Far Away Hug Circle as a friend, such as…
- Know the person for a long time
- See them or be in touch with them often
- Share some common bonds
- Know them well
- Have friendly feelings for them
- Not be hurtful on purpose
For Critical Thinking (Optional Discussion Points & Questions)
What if…
- A friend spreads nasty gossip about you (on social media)?
- A friend teases you one time? Every time you see them?
- A friend sends you a romantic Valentine card?
- A friend teases you every time you see them?
- A friend gets angry with you and pushes you?
- A friend never brings money and always expects you to treat?
- A friend starts “sexting” you?
See Part 2, Disk #4 “Cyberspace Rules” for Green Far Away Hug Circle considerations for online safety
Consider This:
“Friending” on social media creates a seductive illusion of friendship that suggests intimacy where none actually exists. It is not uncommon for an individual to have hundreds (or more) of “friends” they’ve never met or corresponded with. Our students may be particularly vulnerable to “friending”; after all, who doesn’t want friends? Students with special needs may lack the judgement to discern this and the skill set to make friends of their own. Dealing with rejection from a peer acquaintance who has no interest in “friendship” is maybe not only hurtful but confusing. Where such “friends” are placed in one’s world of circles is a challenging consideration. How our students interact with social media is a bigger conversation; suggested guidelines appear in this edition of CIRCLES.