Segment 2: Don't Be Inconsiderate And Show Bad Manners

Objectives

Students will:

1. Understand why being considerate and showing good manners is socially attractive.
2. Identify the negative consequences of being inconsiderate and showing bad manners.
3. Identify the personal benefits of being considerate and showing good manners.
4. Identify behaviors that accompany being inconsiderate and showing bad manners.
5. Identify behaviors that accompany being considerate and showing good manners.
6. Model successfully being considerate and showing good manners.
7. Develop strategies for being more considerate and showing better manners.

Step 1: Lesson Introduction

Last time, we found out why being modest helps make you socially attractive. We learned that if you show off, you won't be attractive to others. There are other ways to be unattractive. One of these ways is by being inconsiderate and showing bad manners.

• Ask students to discuss instances when someone was inconsiderate or showed bad manners. How did that behavior make them feel about the person? Did it make the person more attractive to them?
• Tell students that in today's video, we're going to see why it's important to be considerate and show good manners if you want to be socially attractive.

▶️ Show the video.

⏸️ Stop the video when the "Pause for Discussion" title appears on the screen.

Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1

What did Steve do that was NotSmart?

He's inconsiderate and shows bad manners.

• Makes Leah carry everything
• Interrupts her to greet his friend
• Doesn't introduce Leah to his friend
• Breaks his date with Leah to go play cards
• Leers at other girls and praises them while insulting Leah
• Poor eye contact
• Slouching posture
• Loud belch
• Abrasive, indifferent tone of voice
• Indifferent, frowning facial expression

What happened because Steve was NotSmart?

• He makes himself completely unattractive to Leah. She walks away feeling hurt and disgusted. She'll never want to have anything to do with such an inconsiderate, ill-mannered slob.
• When Steve approaches the girls at the next table, they cover their faces and leave. They've seen how he treated Leah like dirt, and they don't want to have anything to do with him. As clueless as he is, Steve's future as someone who is socially attractive looks bleak.

How could Steve have been PeopleSmart?

Have students discuss how Steve could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation.

Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one way Steve could have been PeopleSmart.

▶️ Start the video again.

⏸️ Stop the video when the "Pause for Discussion" title appears on the screen.

Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2

How was Steve PeopleSmart this time?

He's considerate and has good manners.

• Carries the food and drinks
• Helps Leah with her chair
• Compliments Leah and tells her how happy he is to be with her
• Introduces her proudly to his friend
• Honors his plans with Leah for that night
• Keeps his attention on Leah instead of on other girls
• Listens attentively, doesn't interrupt
• Offers to buy her new shoes
• Asks how her food is
• Offers to share his food with her
• Asks what else she needs and makes a heroic effort to get it
• Good eye contact
• Affectionate facial expression

What happened because Steve was PeopleSmart?

He makes himself attractive to Leah. She feels appreciated and cared for. She feels proud and lucky to be with such a considerate gentleman. He makes her feel good about herself, and he makes her look good in front of others. Steve's romantic future with Leah looks bright.

What can we learn from this?

• Consideration and good manners show respect. And showing respect is one of the best ways to make yourself attractive.
• Always remind yourself how fortunate you are to be with this person. If you do this, you'll naturally be respectful and considerate and show good manners. But if you somehow think the other person is lucky to be with you, you'll behave in an inconsiderate, disrespectful way that will make you unattractive to that person.
• Again, to be socially attractive, put your attention on others, not on yourself. How can you make them feel good about themselves? By being considerate and by showing good manners. When you help others feel good about themselves, they will feel good about you and find you attractive.

Step 4: Activities

Have students pair off and roleplay each of the PeopleSmart behaviors demonstrated in the video and identified in Guided Discussion, Part 2 above.

• Have them practice these behaviors one at a time, with the class providing feedback. Only when they demonstrate mastery of one behavior can they proceed to practice the next behavior.
• Replay the video several times if necessary to help students successfully model each PeopleSmart behavior.
• Conclude this exercise by having each student "put it all together" by combining all PeopleSmart behaviors for being considerate/showing good manners. Feel free to expand this list of behaviors, since it is not intended to be a complete inventory of behaviors for being considerate/showing good manners.

Have students create wall charts listing verbal and nonverbal behaviors that accompany;

• being inconsiderate/showing bad manners, and
• being considerate/showing good manners.

Remind students of the earlier discussion of instances when someone turned them off by being inconsiderate or showing bad manners. Have students roleplay

• NotSmart behavior, and
• PeopleSmart behavior in these situations.

Have students:

• Discuss instances when they were inconsiderate or showed bad manners with another person.
• Roleplay
1. NotSmart behavior, and
2. PeopleSmart behavior in these situations.

Have students brainstorm different situations in which they could either be inconsiderate and show bad manners or be considerate and show good manners with another person. These situations might include:

• Going to a movie
• Going to a dance club
• Going to a prom
• Going out to a nice restaurant with him/her and his/ her parents.
• Have students roleplay NotSmart and PeopleSmart behaviors in these situations.
• Have the class provide feedback.

Have students:

• Keep a journal of how well they demonstrate considerate, well-mannered behavior with others.
• Report their experiences to the class. Have the class assist them in learning from their experiences and developing strategies for being more considerate and showing better manners with others.

Have students form small groups and create and perform rap songs entitled "I Treat

Her/ Him Right." Award prizes for each song's performance.

Have students identify the negative consequences of being inconsiderate and showing bad manners and the personal benefits of being considerate and showing good manners. Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.