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Self Anger: The COLD Response

The COLD (Passive) Response to Self-Anger

Passive or "COLD" responses usually involve withdrawal or avoidance Passive responses include:

Looking COLD

"Victim-like" demeanor involves:

  1. Head down, no eye contact with others.
  2. Body bent over.
  3. Sad or blank facial expression.
  4. Timid body movements.

Thinking COLD

"Self-blaming Perceiving Style" with statements like:

  1. It's my fault. I'm not a good person. I can't do anything right."
  2. "I’m just an idiot for feeling this way."
  3. “There's nothing I can do about it.”
  4. "If I speak up, it won't do any good."

Acting COLD

Behavior that gives up, turns away, withdraws or becomes depressed, such as:

  1. Do or Say nothing
  2. Mutter Or speak with low voice volume.
  3. Cry
  4. Meck, "I did something wrong," victim voice.
  5. Avoid the person.
(See “
(See “Appendix” for full page version of icons for use in the classroom.)

Drawbacks of the COLD (Passive) Response

Drawbacks of cold responses to self-anger include misdirected anger, failure to resolve interpersonal conflicts, negative thoughts about self, and feelings of anger, frustration or sadness.