Introduction
Learning to recognize, accept and control one's own anger is a complex process. Frustration over acquiring new skills, equity/fairness issues, broken agreements and betrayal/loyalty issues are some common triggers for experiencing anger from within. When angry feelings are triggered, dealing with them appropriately is a difficult, challenging task. If not handled effectively, angry behavior can cause emotional and physical damage to those it is directed against, and shame and guilt to the individual "acting it out." Angry actions can elicit extreme reactions from others, ranging from social withdrawal to aggression. Managed well, anger can be used to motivate finding solutions to difficult interpersonal problems. The following program demonstrates methods that young adolescents can use to effectively cope with their own anger.
Anger/Other vs. Anger/Self
The focus of Module é (Coping With Anger From Others) is on responding to the other person's anger. He/She is angry with us and we must reply. Initially, we are not angry ourselves, the anger is introduced from the outside In these situations, anger confronts us. As illustrated by the characters in the videos, there are three basic ways we can react: COLD, HOT and COOL.
Module 5 (Coping With One's Own Ange) addresses self-anger. We are angry, we do the confronting, we introduce our anger into the situation. We can direct our angry feelings at the other person(s) by being COLD, HOT or COOL. As we continue to see. the COOL, assertive mode is the most successful in resolving conflict.
Anger From Self Module Objectives
This program will teach students to:
- Understand what angry behavior is.
- Understand why you become angry.
- Identify personal, physical responses to anger
- Leam to accept angry feelings as legitimate and recognize the need to channel them appropriately.
- Identify characteristics of:
- A COLD (passive, giving up) response to your own anger.
- A HOT (aggressive, blowing up) response to your own anger.
- Learn to predict consequences and identify drawbacks of the HOT and COLD responses to your own anger.
- Identify the three steps of the COOL response to anger
- LOOK COOL: Detached, non-threatening demeanor
- THINK COOL: Non-blaming Perceiving Style
- ACT COOL: Uses statements and asserts rights with respect and fairness
- Recall and perform the steps of assertive/COOL responses to angry feelings in roleplay and real situations.
Broken Agreements, by using 4Step Assertion Plan - Lesson 1
Misunderstandings by Checking It Out - Lesson 2
Anger Defined
Angry behavior refers to a wide range of actions associated with the expression of displeasure, disagreement, or dislike in relation to other people, objects, or situations. This module focuses on recognizing and coping with anger feelings as they arise from within. Module 4 addresses coping with anger coming from another person.
Interpersonal anger usually takes the form of negative statements directed at another person, or oneself, delivered in a stern tone of voice, at moderate or loud voice volume, with dominant body posture and serious facial expression. Angry behavior varies in intensity from mild (confronting firmly) to severe (yelling) to dangerous (breaking objects, hitting).
Physical responses to anger arising from within can include heavy breathing or holding one's breath, a flushed face, tensing of the facial neck or other muscles, glaring stares, crying, clenching fists, grinding teeth, and or an accelerated heartbeat. individuals may feel they are "on the edge" or on the verge of "losing control."
As students learn to recognize what situations/issues trigger their own anger and become proficient at identifying their own physical signals of anger, they can learn to monitor and control their outward behavior before it escalates into hostile actions.
Why People Experience Anger
People feel angry for many reasons. Frustration (when learning new skills,) injustice or unfair treatment, betrayal or loyalty issues with friends, and broken promises are just a few of the common issues that generate angry feelings from within. People also can become angry as a reaction to fear, loss, frustration, or pain. Anger may be directed at another person when the angry person is actually angry about something else. This is referred to as "misdirected" anger, or "dumping" and may be performed to get sympathy or support from others or to release tension.
Dangerous Self Anger
Dangerous anger from within results in aggressive behavior that may cause physical injury to oneself or others. Recognizing signs that one's anger feels uncontrollable and overwhelming; an urge to hurt others or oneself; escalation of verbal attacks against others; angry self-stick or possession of any weapon-type object should serve as a signal for an individual to remove oneself immediately from the situation provokin8 these feelings.