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Lesson 1: Behavior Development Activities

Before asking students to act in their own roleplay activities, you may wish to model the process for them necessary, click here for specific characteristics of the COLD, HOT and COOL responses.

My friend and I like to go to the movies. We've agreed to each take turns picking a movie Lately, whenever I pick a movie, he says "Let's see that next week. I want to see... Today, it's happened again and I’m really angry. What should I do?

First, I try being COLD. Remember ICE when you think about the COLD response Watch what l do.

I LOOK COLD:

(Model) My eyes look down. I don't look at him. My head 1s hanging down. 1 am all Dent over like I am carrying a burden. And I look so sad!

Then I THINK COLD:

(Model) I think "It's all my fault. This always happens to me. I'm an idiot. I'm going home.

Now, I ACT COLD:

(Model) 1 don't say anything or look at my friend. f leave.

Roleplay how you (the teacher) would react to the same frustration using the HOT response

Model the Cool response to frustration and anger, using the 4-Step Assertion Plan.

Review Acting COO and the "4-Step Assertion Plan":

I LOOK COOL:

Ask the class to join you as you continue to model "Looking Cool" We calm down and take time to center ourselves. We breathe deeply. Maybe un our hands through our hair or stretch, rolling Our heads around or yawning. We look away. Maybe we step away. We relax our muscles.

I THINK COOL:

First, I "Think Through the Consequences" of being COLD and HOT before deciding what to do (model "Thinking Through" COLD and HOT responses.) Then, I decide how to deal with the anger I'm feeling. "The problem is my friend is not being fair. We agreed to take turns picking a movie, but he's not keeping his side of the agreement. I need to stay COOL and tell him what 1 don't like, how it makes me feel, and what I want."

I ACT COOL:

I look directly at him and use a calm voice. I tell him what I'm feeling using the 4-Step Assertion Plan.

Step 1: Tell what behavior you don't like.

"I don't like the fact that you’re always picking the movies we see when we agreed it was fair to take turns.

Step 2: Tell how the behavior makes you feel.

It makes me feel like you don't care about what I want."

Step 3: Tell what behavior you want.

“I want you to let me have my pick, too."

Step 4: If you don't get to an agreement, tell what will happen if you can't work things out.

"Can you do that?" (If you don't get agreement) 7 won'? Want to g0 to the movies with you if you can't let me also choose what we see.

Ask the class if they have any questions or suggestions about how you modeled the BeCool process.

Additional Roleplay Activities

  1. Ask students to discuss instances when they've handled their own anger in a COLD or HOT way after someone has broken an agreement or frustrated them in some way.
    • Have students identify the LOOKING, THINKING AND ACTING elements of these COLD and HOT responses.
    • Have them roleplay these COLD and HOT responses. Have students identify the LOOKING, THINKING AND ACTING elements of a COOL response in the same situation.
    • Have students roleplay the CO response for these situations.
  2. Assign "Angry/Self Person" and "Person Receiving the Anger" roles and ask students to roleplay the following using COLD, HOT and COOL responses and the 4-Step Assertion Plan.
    • You've loaned some money to a friend. He keeps telling you that he'll "pay you back next week." This has now gone on for four weeks and you're now feeling angry. What do you do?
    • You and your friend make plans for the weekend. On Saturday, she tells you that "something else came up and I have to cancel." This isn't the first time. You're angry. What do you do?
    • Math is not your favorite subject and your friend has agreed to tutor you. It's not working out well, because she doesn't understand why you can’t comprehend something "so logical." You're getting illustrated and anger because you're feeling stupid and she's not taking the time to explain it in a way you can understand. What do you do?
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Teacher Note: Let students know they can ask for help if they cannot remember what to do. Others can raise their hands if a student needs help and they want to coach them. The student may call on someone for coaching, or you can coach them in the steps.

Optional: The BeCool Game

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Play "The BeCool Game." Call on individual students to play out either a COLD, HOT, or COOL response to various situations. (Remind students that if they can't remember exactly what to do. to remember, "red fire," "blue ice," and "neutral color" or clouds" and act accordingly.)

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Note: You may choose to practice only the COOL response when playing the BeCool game.

Scenario: Your friend always seems to steal your boyfriend/ girlfriend. You have forgiven him/her in the past. Now it's happened again. You're angry. What do you do?

Choose Students.

Norm, LOOK COLD!

Grace, LOOK HOT!

Karl, LOOK COOL!

Linda, THINK COLD!

Tony, THINK HOT!

Marcus, THINK COOL!

Logan, ACT COLD!

Susan, ACT HOT!

April, ACT COOL!

The BeCool Game: Using the Response Icons

  1. Make copies of the ICE, FIRE and CLOUDS Teaching lcons in Appendix and give one to each student.
  2. Model (the teacher) examples of LOOKING, THINKING and ACTING COLD, HOT and COOL.
  3. Ask students to show how the teacher is LOOKING, THINKING and ACTING by holding up the Teaching lcon that best represents the "tone" of the teacher's behavior. For example, if the teacher models ACTING HOT (aggressive) the students would hold up their Fire lcon.
  4. After confirming student responses (Yes, I was being very HOT) and discuss student responses if different than intended by teacher.