Use the 4-Step Plan to Handle Frustration With Difficult People
Teacher Notes
Your more capable students will quickly learn the three "styles" of response and the consequences of each. Your more challenged students may have more difficulty. For this group, the goal should be that they become aware that they have a choice in the way they respond to their anger other than running away or expressing it aggressively.
Video Synopsis
Tommy and Chaye are building cars with their legos. Tommy is frustrated because he's not as skilled in this as Chaye, but his frustration turns to anger because Chaye is showing off his mastery. The video portrays Tommy modeling COLD, HOT, and BeCool responses to his own frustration and anger arising from Chaye's showing off.
Introduction
Before viewing the video, discuss the following. Adapt the questions and content to meet the ability level of your students.
What does "self-anger" mean?
When we become upset or mad with ourselves in different situations.
How many of you have been in situations where you've gotten angry because you were having trouble doing something new and your friend was showing off his/her skill?
Yes, it's happened to all of us. (The teacher should share with the class a time when he/she was angry about someone showing off and describe how it felt.)
Think of a time when you were having trouble learning something new. How did you feel? Did you feel mad, frustrated, or upset? What did you do?
(Kindergarteners and cognitively challenged students may require examples which they can raise their hand if they have had that experience.)
What are some of the reasons people get angry at themselves? What are the reasons why people then take it out on others? Review the reasons listed in "Instructional Content".
It is important to recognize that the anger you feel inside is okay, but it's not okay to act it out toward someone (misdirected anger.) Many times, the anger we feel may be justified, but as you will see in the video, the COLD and the HOT responses will not help solve our problems, but rather, cause us to act helpless or blow up.
Video Introduction
Today, Chester introduces us to Tommy and Chaye. They're building cars with their legos. We can get good at anything with practice. Chaye plays with legos often and can build many things. However, Tommy is just learning and is feeling angry and frustrated at himself. When Chaye brags about how good he is, it bothers Tommy and causes more frustration. We're going to see three ways Tommy reacts to his own frustration and anger - COLD or giving up, HOT or angry, or COOL.
▶️ Start Video. Anger/Self, Part 2 - "Frustration: 4-Step Plan"
Discussion
We just saw three ways to react to one's own anger, arising from frustration. We can feel sorry for ourselves and give up. That's called being COLD. We can be angry or blow up. That's called being HOT. Or we can be COOL. Tommy was COOL when he recognized his own frustration because he didn't have enough practice with legos and Chaye's bragging didn't help. Tommy acted COOL by using the 4-Step Plan to talk to his friend about how he was feeling.