If another’s anger is fair, Accept it, Apologize, and Makeup
Teacher Notes
Your more capable students will quickly learn the three "styles" of response and the benefits of each. Your more challenged students may have more difficulty. For this group, the goal should be that they become aware that they have a choice in the way they respond to anger other than running away or becoming angry themselves (Click here to see Response Inhibition.)
Video Synopsis
In the video, Taylor has spilled rabbit food all over Jay and now everyone's laughing at how Jay looks. Jay's embarrassment turns into anger toward Taylor. We show Taylor modeling COLD, HOT, and COOL responses to Jay's anger. In the BeCool response, Taylor calms himself, thinks about what happened, and realizes that Jay's anger is fair. Taylor then "accepts" responsibility for spilling the rabbit's food on Jay, "apologizes" to him, and "makes up" by helping him clean up the mess. In an Alternative Ending, we ask the question, how would things have turned out differently if Jay acted COOL right from the start?
Introduction
Before viewing the video, discuss the following. Adapt the questions and content to meet the ability level of your students.
What does "anger" mean?
Being mad or upset with someone, something or a situation.
How many of you have had someone be angry with you?
Yes, it's something that happens to all of us. (The teacher should share with the class a time when someone was mad at him/her for something and describe how it felt.)
Think of a time someone got angry at you. How did you handle or stop the anger? How did you feel?
(Kindergarteners and cognitively challenged students may require examples to which they can raise their hand if they have had that experience.)
What are some of the reasons people get angry at other people?
Review reasons listed in "Instructional Content"
How do you know when a person's anger is fair?
Sometimes a person can be angry with us for something we did. We say their anger is fair. Sometimes they can be angry at us for something we really didn't do. We say their anger is unfair (See "Instructional Content" for more information on fair and unfair anger).
Who can tell us when somebody was angry at them for something they did (fair anger) and for something they didn't do (unfair anger)?
Video Introduction
Today, Chester introduces us to classmates, Taylor and Jay. Jay's angry at Taylor because Taylor spilled rabbit food on him, causing everyone in the class to laugh. Jay has reason to be angry with Taylor since his anger is fair. We're going to see three ways Taylor responds to Jay's anger... COLD HOT and COOL.
▶️ Start Video: Anger/Other, Part 2 - "Accept/Apologize/Makeup"
Discussion
We just saw three ways to react to anger that is fair. We can feel sorry for ourselves and give up. That's called being COLD. We can be angry or blow up. That's called being HOT. Or we can be COOL. Taylor was COOL when he realized that Jay's anger was fair. He "accepted" responsibility for bumping into Jay, "apologized" to Jay, and "made up" by helping him clean up. In the Alternative Ending, Jay was COOL from the start when he decided to "check it out first" and see if Taylor did it on purpose.