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Lesson 2: Guided Discussion

We're going to see the video again. This time we'll stop the video for discussion after we see Taylor being COLD, HOT, and COOL

鈻讹笍 Start Video. Anger/Other, Part 2 - "Accept/Apologize/Makeup"

鈴革笍 Stop the video after the COLD Response. This is the point at which the person is frozen on the screen opposite the image of a "COLD" Chester, and he has finished discussing the effects of the person being COLD.

The COLD Response

What was the COLD reaction?

Taylor completely avoided the problem. He tried to tell Jay the accident was "no big deal" and to leave him alone. His "running away" response forced Jay to get help from the teacher.

Did it work? Why not?

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No. Taylor's cold reaction made it seem like he didn't care that he had spilled rabbit food on Jay. That made Jay more upset and angry and go to the teacher for help.

How did Taylor feel?

Bad.

Teaching The COLD Response Icon

Discuss the use of the image of "Chester sadly leaving" as a symbol of acting COLD. Because the person who is COLD acts helpless, sad, hard to talk to, and not interested in working things out. He/She "freezes" and is unable to talk confidently in order to solve the problem. One way to remember what a COLD response looks like, is to remember the image of "Chester sadly leaving." Click here for more information about the BeCool Teaching Icons.

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COLD Review

When you run away from a problem, that's called being COLD. You may feel better for a little while, but it doesn't really help you solve your problem or make things better. The COLD reaction did not stop Jay's anger and didn't help Taylor feel good about himself.

鈻讹笍 Resume playing the video. The HOT Response.

鈴革笍 Stop the video after the HOT Response. This is the point at which the person is frozen on the screen opposite the image of a "HOT" Chester, and he has finished discussing the effects of the person being HOT.

The HOT Response

What was the HOT reaction?

Taylor got angry because Jay was angry. Instead of accepting responsibility, he started name-calling and tried to blame it on Jay. Of course, that just made Jay more angry.

Did it work? Why not?

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No. Taylor might have felt good showing that he couldn't be pushed around, but that did not help to solve the problem or make it better. Jay got more angry and blew up. Taylor's behavior got him in trouble with the teacher.

How did Taylor feel?

Unhappy, mad, bad, guilty.

Teaching The HOT Response Icon

Discuss the use of the image of "Chester showing his claws" as a symbol of acting HOT. The person who is HOT, is angry, hurtful and not interested in working things out. When people are HOT, they become a "hothead" and easily blow up. One way to remember what a HOT response looks like, is to remember the image of "Chester showing his claws." When you act with anger, it doesn't solve your problem. You are so busy being mad, you can't think about how to solve the problem.

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HOT Review

Being HOT did not stop the anger. Taylor reacted angrily just because Jay got mad at him. Instead of saying he made a mistake, Taylor blamed Jay and called him names. Of course, this made Jay even more angry, and now Taylor's in trouble with the teacher.

鈻讹笍 Resume playing the video. The COOL Response. Play video to end.

The COOL Response

BeCool means: Looking COOL, Thinking COOL, and Acting COOL. Being cool worked well for Taylor. He was able to stop Jay's angry reaction.

What was the first thing Taylor did?

Taylor LOOKS COOL

Taylor took some deep breaths and relaxed his body. Now he was able to stop and think about how to handle Jay's anger.

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Discuss the use of "Chester with sunglasses," and the "3-note whistle" as symbols your students can use to remind themselves to act COOL. The person who is COOL is calm, relaxed, stops to think, acts positive and is interested in working things out. The COOL response brings calmness to potentially difficult situations. As "cool sunglasses" and a "melodic cool whistle" are associated with being in control, so the COOL response has the effect of improving peer relations and decreasing student conflict. The one way to remember what a COOL response is like, is to remember how putting on imaginary sunglasses can remind us of the "BeCool state of mind."

Taylor THINKS COOL

  • Before doing anything, Taylor stopped and thought about the different COLD and HOT ways he could behave and if they would solve his problem.
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Discuss how Taylor modeled the importance of taking the time to think about the outcome of being COLD and HOT before deciding to act COOL Remind students that taking the time to think about their choices before acting helps to build confidence and develop a sense of control over their lives.

鈿狅笍
Note: It may appear that when the actor or actress assumes the "BeCool state," they spend too much time "Thinking Through the Consequences" of their behavior and deciding on a choice of action. Remind your students that in reality, they may not need this much time. They should be encouraged, however, to take as much time as they need, even if it means "stepping away from the action" to calm down. Students should feel free to do this. You might even advise your students to simply tell the person they're having trouble with that they need a few minutes to collect their thoughts.
  • He uses positive self-talk and decides to BeCool.

    • "BeCool, Taylor. He thinks I bumped into him on purpose. I guess I'd be upset, too, if he did that to me. I could just wimp out and not say anything or I could blame it on him. No, I'm not going to be cold, I'm not going to be hot, I'm going to BeCool. I'll tell him it was an accident and that I'm sorry."

Taylor ACTS COOL: "Accept/Apologize/Makeup"

  • Taylor "accepted" responsibility for bumping into Jay and spilling rabbit's food on him.
  • He "apologized" to Jay by saying he was sorry.
  • He "made up" by helping Jay clean up. "Making up" means doing something nice for the mistake you made. "Making up" showed Jay that Taylor cared about his feelings and that melted Jay's anger away.

Did it work? Why?

Yes. Even though Jay was slow to accept Taylor's apology, Taylor took a deep breath in order to stay COOL and continued to accept responsibility for the accident and apologize. Finally, Jay accepted it. Jay knew Taylor understood how he felt and why he was angry. "Making up" showed that Taylor cared about their friendship.

How did Taylor feel?

He felt good about himself because he solved the problem and he and Jay would remain friends. Even if Jay has stayed mad, Taylor would feel good about the way he kept his COOL!

Alternative Ending Discussion

In the Alternative Ending, discuss how the whole incident turned out differently just because Jay stayed COOL. When Jay found himself getting upset because everyone was laughing, what three steps of the COOL response did he do?

Jay LOOKS COOL

  • Jay took some deep breaths to relax his body.

Jay THINKS COOL

  • Jay uses positive self-talk.

    • "Okay, Jay, BeCool. Okay, Taylor bumped into me and spilled all the rabbit's food all over me. But did he do it on purpose?

  • Jay "checked it out" first by looking at Taylor's face.
  • Now Jay uses more positive self-talk and decides to BeCool.

    • "No, he looks surprised. Maybe it was an accident. I can BeCool by "checking it out" first."

Jay ACTS COOL: "Check It Out"

  • Jay "checks it out" by asking Taylor if he did it on purpose or if it was an accident.

By controlling his initial angry response, Jay could think about what happened and "checked it out" instead of concluding that Taylor did it on purpose. By being COOL, Jay was able to affect how Taylor responded back to him right away, he got an apology from Taylor.

Summary

If someone is angry with you over something you really did, "accept it" (be responsible), "apologize" and "makeup." "Making up" helps to make and keep friendships. If you get angry at someone and don't know if it was an accident or not, stay in control by "checking it out" first.