Part 2: Transitions – The Red Stranger Circle With No Transition Disc 3, Story 1
“Always Strangers”
Synopsis of the Story
In this story, Faith introduces the concept of developing relationships that may transition from one circle into an adjacent circle and then perhaps again to the next adjacent circle. She uses characters and examples from Part 1 to illustrate some transitions.
Faith emphasizes that just because in a specific situation she decided to cross over one or more of the boundary limits temporarily, it does not mean that she now has a different circle relationship with that person. When Faith is engaging in polite conversation with a stranger, she does not disclose any personal information about herself or others. This is because she remembers that the person is still a stranger and you cannot tell if strangers are nice or mean just by seeing them. Most strangers stay strangers and do not move across that circle boundary.
This also applies to strangers who are service providers or health workers. Even if we use their services several times, they are still in the Red Stranger Circle. Faith only shares necessary touch, talk, and trust with these strangers. Faith recognizes that a service provider or health worker who goes beyond her expec tations of necessary touch, talk, or trust, is signaling that he or she wants to change the circle relationship. Faith needs to decide if there is a reason to do so.
Making Your Point
This is the story where Faith reviews the definition of strangers who are either total strangers, service providers or health workers. When one person wants to change a relationship circle, they usually give an indirect or subtle signal that can be in the form of a touch, some talk or request for trust that crosses the expected limits of that circle.
When a stranger oversteps the expected boundaries of touch, talk, or trust it is a signal that the stranger wants to move into a closer relationship. It is the decision of the recipient of the signal to decide whether or not a change in the relationship is an appropriate or desirable one.
Some relationships do not progress any closer than the stranger circle and this is typical.
Key Objectives
- To establish that relationships can be, but are not always dynamic.
- To show that sometimes a relationship boundary can be crossed temporarily, but that does not change the relationship transition.
- To illustrate that when one person is interested in moving closer in a relationship an indirect and subtle signal is given by asking to cross the expected boundaries of touch, talk, or requesting trust.
- To introduce the concept of mutuality in establishing or changing relationship circles.
Sequential Process
Step 1:
Teacher will begin by reviewing the past session: replaying the video from the previous meeting, stressing the most important points and eliciting answers and comment from participants.
Step 2:
Inform participants that today they will begin Part 2 of Circles Level 2, called Relationship Transitions.
Step 3:
Show Part 2, Disc 3, “Always Strangers” pausing when the story is concluded.
Step 4:
Elicit the following information from the participants, replaying the video if desired or needed:
- Faith reviews some of the strangers, service providers and health workers that she introduced us to in Circles, Level 2, Part 1, called Relationship Boundaries.
- Faith reveals that sometimes relationships can change, but they do not have to.
- She reminds us that most strangers remain strangers, even if she sees them repeatedly or if they have crossed one or more of the boundary limits temporarily.
- Faith knows when an indirect or subtle signal is given by another person, such as a touch, some talk or a request for trust that is beyond the expected boundary limits of that stranger relationship, they are suggesting a change of relationship circles.
- She can decide if a change is desirable or appropriate.
Step 5:
Help participants to review or define these vocabulary words and generate a discussion about how the words are used in the story that they have just seen:
- Transition
- Signal
- Indirect
- Subtle
- Mutual
- Change in Relationship
Step 6:
Elicit from students the touch, talk, and trust signal that indicates that one person wants to change the relationship:
Touch: Any touch given by total strangers, or by Service Providers or Health Workers beyond what is required for the work they are doing, suggests that they are trying to change their relationship circle.
Talk: Any talk initiated by total strangers, or by Service Providers or Health Workers beyond what is required for the work they are doing suggests that they are trying to change their relationship circle.
Trust: Any trust offered or initiated by total strangers, or by Service Providers or Health Workers beyond what is required for the work they are doing suggests that they are trying to change their relationship circle.
Step 7:
Invite participants to select icons to place on the wall graph and demonstrate the kind of touch the participant could exchange with a total stranger, service provider or health work- er that would NOT signal any change in the relationship.
Step 8:
Invite participants to demonstrate the kind of talk the participant could exchange with a total stranger, service provider, or health worker that would NOT signal any change in the relationship.
Step 9:
Invite participants to demonstrate the degree of trust the participant could exchange with a total stranger, service provider or health worker that would NOT signal any change in the relationship.
Step 10:
Instruct participants to open their CIRCLES Journal to the story titled “Always Strangers.” Allow time for participants to complete their journaling story for this lesson.
Step 11:
Hand out the reproducible worksheet at the end of this lesson for participants to complete in class or for homework.
Journal Entry - “Always Strangers”
Write a paragraph that tells your own story about an interaction with a stranger who remained a stranger to you and did not change CIRCLES. Include the following information in your story:
- Name and color of the CIRCLE where the person started
- Name and color of the CIRCLE where the person ended
- Write the kind of relationship you have with that person now
- If the relationship did change, write about how and why your relationship changed over time
Support Activity for “Always Strangers”
We usually use words to say what we mean. We also use signs and symbols to tell what we are thinking and feeling. Use words to tell what these signs and symbols mean:
