Summary of Story #7
Sofia tells about her teachers, Mr. Milton, Ms. Hirsch, and Mr. Rodriguez, who are acquaintances in her Yellow Handshake Circle. When Sofia has to make a decision about her job training program, she discusses the matter with her guidance counselor, Mr. Milton, the food service job coach, Ms. Hirsch, and the landscape job coach, Mr. Rodriguez. Sofia explains that these teachers are acquaintances because she has only known them a short time. She only sees them at program selection meetings, and this is the only common bond she has with them. She explains that she was introduced to them and knows their names but doesn’t know anything personal about them. Therefore, she is polite to them, but keeps most of her feelings to herself. Sofia understands that although she likes the teachers, she doesn’t socialize with them.
Teacher’s Note
The Yellow Handshake Circle includes those peers and adults whose names are known. Caregivers with whom an ongoing relationship has been established often fall into this category. Note that the emphasis is placed on the ongoing aspect of the relationship and not on the nature of the caregiving. In other words, a student, while referencing the Six Deciding Factors, may have known the person for a long time, yet the nature of the relationship is not mutual. Little personal information is exchanged. In fact, it is often one sided with the caregiver (i.e., teacher, counselor) knowing much more than the other party in the relationship. Remind students again that it is permissible to like an acquaintance; it is the socialization aspect of the relationship that distinguishes an acquaintance from a friend. The possibility of engaging cooperation from the wide array of acquaintances may exist in a single location, such as a school or work site. (This may involve instructing all staff members about the CIRCLES paradigm.) This adds consistency and helps students master this concept.
Program Aim
- To establish the degree of intimacy associated with the Yellow Handshake Circle using school personnel as an example of an acquaintance relationship.
Methods
Step 1
Review the items from the evaluation section of “My Neighbors” replaying the video vignette using reminders and cues as necessary.
- Who is the most important person in your world of CIRCLES?
- Ask students to show the sign for the Yellow Handshake Circle.
- What kind of touch, talk, and trust is acceptable with a person in the Yellow Handshake Circle who is your acquaintance?
Step 2
Inform students that today they will learn more about the Yellow Handshake Circle.
Step 3
Show the video vignette “My Teachers” and pause for discussion when the story concludes.
Step 4
Elicit the Deciding Factors from students, either from their memory or by replaying the video vignette:
- Sofia knows the teacher only since attending high school.
- Sofia only sees the teacher on school days.
- Sofia’s school program is the common bond that she has with the teachers.
- Sofia doesn’t know much personal information about the teachers, even though she knows their names.
- Sofia is polite to the teachers, but hardly expresses her emotions to them.
- Sofia respects their expertise in school matters.
Step 5
Teacher uses the laminated figural icons with the wall-mounted CIRCLES graph to demonstrate the placement of the new characters on the CIRCLES graph. Teacher asks each student to select laminated figural icons (or photos) representing themselves and a person with whom they have this kind of relationship. Teacher asks the student to name the figural icons (or photos) and place them appropriately on the mounted CIRCLES graph while characterizing that relationship.
Step 6
Ask students:
- How is your teacher or boss the same as Sofia’s teacher?
- How is your teacher or boss different from Sofia’s teacher?
Reassure students that both a teacher and a boss are authority figures and relationships can be different. If the overall emotional tone is respectful, then a positive relationship exists in the Yellow Handshake Circle. Remind students that they don’t have to like or be liked by everyone in the Yellow Handshake Circle, but that politeness is important.
Step 7
Distribute personal CIRCLES graphs, markers/crayons/colored pencils, and “Peel n’ Stick” icons. Have students identify which circle surrounds the Green Far Away Hug Circle. Ask students to color the circle yellow. Hang up the CIRCLES giant wall graph and use figural icons (or photos) to demonstrate how students can personalize their CIRCLES graphs. Have students personalize the Yellow Handshake Circle by using the “Peel n’ Stick” icons that best represent the neighbors in the Yellow Handshake Circle making sure the Six Deciding Factors are satisfied.
Step 8
Direct students, one at a time, to stand in front of the Purple Private Space on the wall-mounted CIRCLES graph. Have students demonstrate the sign for the Yellow Handshake Circle from that position. Point out the closeness that is involved from that position and the Yellow Handshake Circle and compare it to the preceding circles. Have students observe the degree of closeness and notice that the Yellow Handshake Circle is at a distance that precludes both far away and close hugs.
Step 9
Tell students, or elicit from students if they are able, the following information about touch, talk, and trust with acquaintances in their Yellow Handshake Circle:
- Touch - Sofia shakes hands with acquaintances who are authority figures only when she greets them. Touch is limited to hands.
- Talk - Sofia does not get personal but is polite and respectful.
- Trust - Sofia has limited trust for her acquaintances because she doesn’t know them personally, even though she knows their names.
Step 10
(Optional) Practice using the Circles Social Skills Utility™ focusing on their acquaintances in their Yellow Handshake Circle.
For Greater Depth (Optional)
Help students to demonstrate their understanding of the levels of touch, talk, and trust with authority figures who are acquaintances in their Yellow Handshake Circle by using the following role plays as rehearsal opportunities and emphasizing the elements of touch, talk, and trust within the role play. Here are some suggested situations for your students to roleplay the level of touch, talk, and trust that is appropriate for teachers in the Yellow Handshake Circle.
- Pretend that you’ve broken a school rule (e.g., didn’t get to class on time, didn’t complete your homework, etc.) and the teacher is upset with you.
- Tell your teacher about a problem with another classmate.
Summary
Replay the video vignette as needed to reinforce students’ skill development and comprehension. Tell students that when they have an authority figure, such as a teacher or a boss, in their Yellow Handshake Circle, the relationship has a limited range of touch, talk, and trust and is respectful but impersonal.
Evaluation
Teacher will question and review, playing video if desired:
- Who is the most important person in your world of CIRCLES?
- Ask students to show the sign for the Yellow Handshake Circle.
- What kind of touch, talk, and trust is acceptable with a person in the Yellow Handshake Circle who is an acquaintance?
Support Activities
- Invite a respected person of some authority to your class and have one student standing in purple make the introduction to the class.
- Create index cards with different topics and activities using words or pictures which are “OK” and “not OK” to talk with acquaintances about. Have students sort the cards into two piles.
- Have students use the giant wall graph and act out the following role plays:
- Pretend you see a teacher you know in the hallway at school. Ask the teacher about the upcoming school event (e.g., ball game, dance).
- Pretend you are at your job site and another worker is not doing his/her share of the work. Discuss this with your job coach.
- Pretend you are having trouble learning to use the computer. Ask your computer teacher when you can get extra help.
You may choose to demonstrate to the class some of the teenage alternatives to the more traditional and formal adult handshake. These include the “high five” and “fist bump.” Note that it is still only the hands that touch and the distance remains the same. Note that the alternatives are generally suitable for peer interactions, but usually not with adults. Refer to other Stanfield videos that model a variety of acquaintance relationships including those found in the LifeSmart® series and Home of Your Own® series. Visit www.stanfield.com for more information.
For Greater Depth (Optional)
Ask students to share what factors they would consider before placing a person in the Yellow Handshake Circle, such as:
- Be introduced to the person at least one time.
- See them once in a while.
- Have at least one common bond.
- Know their names.
- Be polite, show mutual respect, and make eye contact.
- Support in specific situations.
For Critical Thinking (Optional)
What if…
- A math teacher asks personal questions about your sweetheart?
- A counselor at school asks you if your parents ever hurt you?
- A school secretary is shopping at the same market as you?
- A teacher asks you to stay after school to get extra help with computers?
- A teacher touches your bottom (or private parts)?
- A job coach calls you an insulting name?
- A teacher sees another student touch you on your private parts?
- A teacher requests that they speak to your parents?
See Part 2, Disk #4 “Cyberspace Rules” for Yellow Handshake Circle considerations for online safety
Consider This
What is the culture at your school regarding hugging and touch? Are there rules in place that limit physical contact or interaction with students on social media? From the We are Teachers website (www.weareteachers.com) in reference to hugging students: “Some schools outright prohibit this level of physical contact between teachers and students, while others encourage teachers to give comfort when needed. ”Do you know your school’s guidelines? There is much to consider here. A warm handshake, held briefly, accompanied by appropriate soft language could convey support and reassurance to a student. It is unfortunate that a relatively small number of criminals, who happened also to be teachers, created a climate of caution for the rest of us. The CIRCLES rules suggest a restrained approach that teachers model through their interactions with their students