Summary of Story #2
Sofia tells us about her family: her mother, her father, and her brother in the Blue Big Hug Circle. She explains that she has known them since she was born, usually has daily contact with them, shares many traditions with them, knows them very well and loves them, but not in a romantic way. She confides in and gets support from her mother about being bullied on the internet. Sofia is sure that her close family members would help her any way they could.
Teacher’s Note
Typically, students populate the Blue Big Hug Circle with the members of their nuclear family. The individuals in your class may come from have a wide variety of living situations or may have parents who are deceased or absent. Some may not choose to include nuclear family members in the Blue Big Hug Circle. Other persons, such as step and foster parents, or others, may represent this degree of closeness for an individual. (See CONSIDER THIS below for more.)
Be sure to acknowledge that these loving feelings are not romantic or sexual, and that sexual contact is never permitted among family members. (Know your mandated abuse reporting laws and follow them!)
Program Aim:
- To establish the degree of intimacy associated with the Blue Big Hug Circle, using the family as an example of a close, loving relationship.
Methods:
Step 1
Review the items from the evaluation section of “All About Me” replaying the video vignette and using reminders and cues as necessary:
- Who is the most important person in your world of CIRCLES?
- What circle are you in?
- Have students show the sign for the Purple Private Circle
- What kind of touch, talk, and trust should the most important person allow for themself?
Step 2
Inform students that today they will learn about the next circle: the Blue Big Hug Circle
Step 3
Show the video vignette “My Family” and pause for discussion when the story concludes
Step 4
Elicit the Decifing Factors from students, either from their memory or by replaying the video vignette:
- Sofia lives with her mother, father, and brother. They are her family.
- Sofia sees her family every day.
- Sofia and her family have special family time together.
- Sofia talks over her feelings with her mother.
- Sofia loves her family, but not in a romantic way.
- Sofia knows her family would not abuse her or hurt her on purpose.
Step 5
Teacher uses the laminated figural icons with the wall-mounted CIRCLES graph to demonstrate the placement of the new characters on the CIRCLES graph. Teacher asks each student to select laminated figural icons (or photos) representing themselves and a person with whom they have this kind of relationship. Teacher asks the student to name the figural icons (or photos) and place them appropriately on the mounted CIRCLES graph while describing that relationship.
Step 6
Ask students:
- How is your family the same as Sofia’s family?
- How is your family different from Sofia’s family?
Reassure students that no two families are exactly the same. If the overall emotional tone is loving and nurturing, as expressed by touch, talk, and trust, then those individuals or family are well placed in the Blue Big Hug Circle.
Step 7
Distribute personal CIRCLES graphs, markers/crayons/colored pencils, and “Peel n’ Stick” icons. Have students identify which circle surrounds the Purple Private Circle. Color it blue making sure to leave the sweetheart blank. Refer to the CIRCLES graph and use figural icons (or photos) to demonstrate how students can personalize their own CIRCLES graphs. Have students personalize the Blue Big Hug Circle by using “Peel n’ Stick” icons which best represents their family members (or surrogate) in the Blue Big Hug Circle (with teacher guidance as necessary).
Step 8
Have students stand in front of the wall-mounted CIRCLES graph. Direct each student to stand near the center of the graph and point to the Blue Big Hug Circle. Have students demonstrate the sign for the Blue Big Hug Circle. Point out the closeness that is involved in a Blue Hug relationship. Notice the small circle that is created by the sign for the Blue Big Hug Circle.
Step 9
Tell students, or elicit from them if they are able, the following information about touch, talk, and trust with family members in their Blue Big Hug Circle:
- Touch - Sofia hugs her family close to her body in a way that shows her love but is not romantic.
- Talk - Sofia can talk to her family about any subject, even personal matters.
- Trust - Sofia has full trust for her family.
Step 10
(Optional) Practice using the Circles Social Skills Utility™ focusing on those individuals closest to them in the Blue Big Hug Circle.
For Greater Depth (Optional)
Help students to demonstrate their understanding of the levels of touch, talk, and trust with extended family members in their Blur Big Hug Circle by using the following roleplays as rehearsal opportunities and emphasizing the elements of touch, talk, and trust within the roleplay. Here are some suggested situations for your students to roleplay the level of touch, talk, and trust that is appropriate for extended family members in the Green Far Away Hug Circle
- Greet family members after a long absence
- Share feelings after an unpleasant teasing incident at school or in cyberspace (as demonstrated by Sofia’s conversation with her mother)
- Ask for help or advice from a family member regarding a personal issue
- Say goodnight (which may involve a hug and kiss).
Summary
Replay the video vignette as needed to reinforce students’ skill development and comprehension. Tell students that when they have friends in their Blue Big Hug Circle, the relationships with these friends may include a wide range of touch, talk, and trust; but not sexual, intimate or romantic touch, talk, or trust.
Evaluation:
Teacher will question and review, playing video if desired:
- Who is the most important person in your world of CIRCLES?
- Ask students to show the sign for the Blue Big Hug Circle.
- What kind of touch, talk, and trust is acceptable with a person in the Blue Big Hug Circle who is in your family?
For Greater Depth (Optional)
Have students explain why they chose the Blue Big Hug Circle for their family members (or whomever they’ve placed there).
Support Activities:
From the activities below, select those that would be of benefit for your students or consult Part III: Topics in Sexuality Education for topically related activities.
- Create a question/comment box for students to confidentially communicate their concerns. Tell the class about the box
- Cut out pictures of families that show “loving” relationships (not romantic) and make a collage. Be sure to include different ages and diverse groupings of families.
- Ask students to get photos of themselves with their families as babies, toddlers, school age, and current time. Make a book with these pictures called “Growing Within a Family.”
- Have students make a list or draw similarities that they share with their families (e.g., the same-shape nose, same-shaped eyes, address, religion, phone number, favorite food or color, etc. Do not limit these to genetic-type indicators. Ask students about shared activities and preferences such as favorite foods, music, etc.)
- See Part III, section #1 “Self-Esteem” for related activities
- See Part III, sections #2 “Autonomy,” #5 “Puberty,” and #11 “Reproduction” for related activities.
- Ask students to identify the kind of personal information that they might only trust family members with.
For Greater Depth (Optional)
Ask students to share what factors they would consider before placing a person in their Blue Big Hug Circle, such as…
- Have they known the person for a long, long time?
- Do they see them or have seen them often?
- Do they share many common bonds?
- Do they know them very, very well?
- Share deep emotions?
- Are they supportive and not hurtful?
For Critical Thinking (Optional Discussion Points & Questions)
What if…
- A mother steals money from her child?
- A brother gets drunk and wakes his brother and sisters in the middle of the night?
- Parents divorce?
- A parent punishes a child for poor grades?
- A parent dies?
- A parent yells at a child who crosses the street carelessly?
- Use examples of other culturally relevant circumstances for discussion.
See Part 2, Disk #4 “Cyberspace Rules” for Blur Big Hug Circle considerations for online safety.
Consider This
In every classroom are students whose families don’t parallel what was once considered a typical family constellation. Some of your students live in families with two moms or dads, or in one where the “head of household” might actually be an extended family member. Some of your students may be adopted yet have relationships with their biological parents. In other cases, family members might be incarcerated, in the military, or for a variety of reasons do not reside with your students. You already know this but being mindful can help you create an inclusive and accepting classroom environment. The content students are invited to discuss and think about in this curriculum is very personal and some pupils may be reluctant to participate because of perceived differences. Help them with your sensitivity and awareness.