Objectives
Students will:
- Understand why getting along with people is important.
- Define what a stranger is.
- Understand why it's better to be safe than sorry when dealing with strangers.
- Understand why it's important to reject a stranger's unsolicited help
- Identify situations in which they might get in trouble by accepting a stranger's unsolicited help.
- Identify the negative consequences of accepting a stranger's unsolicited help.
- Identify the personal benefits of rejecting a stranger's unsolicited help.
- Identify behaviors that accompany accepting a stranger's unsolicited help.
- Identify behaviors that accompany rejecting a stranger's unsolicited help.
- Model successfully rejecting a stranger's unsolicited help.
- Develop strategies for successfully rejecting unsolicited help from strangers.
Step 1: Introduction
Discuss with students why living independently in the community is important. Ask students why getting along with people is an essential part of living independently in the community. Have students identify friends or acquaintances of theirs. How have these friendships and relationships made their lives happier, richer, and more successful? In what ways have their dealings or relationships with other people in the community made their lives more successful?
Tell students that living independently in the community requires more than dealing successfully with friends and acquaintances; we also need to know how to deal with people whom we have never met and don't know at all. What are these people called? That's right, they're strangers.
- Make the point that most strangers, just like most people in general, are good people who mean us no harm. Have students discuss strangers they've met who didn't try to harm them or get them in trouble.
- Unfortunately, some strangers aren't good people. These strangers might try to harm us or get us in trouble. Have students discuss strangers they've met or heard of who tried to harm someone or get someone in trouble.
Emphasize that strangers are, by definition, people we don't know. That means we don't really know if a stranger is a good person or is someone who might try to get us in trouble. And unfortunately, some strangers who seem nice can just be pretending to be nice; they're acting nice to make us think we can trust them, because this will make it easier for them to harm us or get us in trouble. Because of this, all of us need to be very careful in dealing with any stranger, no matter how nice or friendly this person may seem. It's too bad the world has to be this way, but that's just the way it is.
Ask students if they have heard of the saying, "Better Safe Than Sorry." Have students discuss what this means in terms of dealing with strangers. That's right: It means we're better off being cautious and PeopleSmart with all strangers - and keeping ourselves safe - than being too trusting and risking getting in trouble. Remind students that it takes a long time to trust someone, just as it takes a long time to become friends with someone. It's certainly not smart to trust someone you don't even know.
Tell students that one way to get in trouble with strangers is by accepting unsolicited help - that is, help that someone offers without you asking for it.
- Ask students to discuss instances when they or someone they knew got in trouble by accepting unsolicited help from a stranger.
- Tell students that in today's video, we're going to see why it's important to reject unsolicited help from strangers.
▶️ Show the video.
⏸️ Stop the video when the "Pause for Discussion" title appears on the screen.
Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1
What did Geneva do that was NotSmart?
She accepts unsolicited help from a stranger.
- She lets him help her pick up her packages.
- Then she sits down with him and strikes up a conversation. She responds sympathetically to his sad story about his son. Because he says he's married and has kids, she thinks he is safe to trust. So she lets him walk with her to her car.
- Then she believes his story about missing his bus. She feels guilty for letting him convince her that she's responsible for making him miss his bus. As a result, she agrees to give him a ride.
Geneva has doubts about the stranger every step of the way. But she objects too weakly and lets him overcome her resistance.
- Timid, hesitant tone of voice
- Weak eye contact
- Meek body language
- Nervous mannerisms
- Weak gestures
- Worried facial expression
What happened because Geneva was NotSmart?
She gets in trouble. The stranger pulls a gun on her, and she's trapped in a car with him in a deserted parking lot. There's no one around to help her. He may end up robbing her, stealing her car, raping her, or killing her.
How could Geneva have been PeopleSmart?
Have students discuss how Geneva could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation. Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one way Geneva could have been PeopleSmart.
▶️ Start the video again.
⏸️ Stop the video when the "Pause for Discussion" title appears on the screen.
Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2
How was Geneva PeopleSmart this time?
She refuses to accept unsolicited help from the stranger.
- When he offers to help with her packages, she firmly and decisively tells him no. She smiles but only to be polite
- Then when he tries a second time, she tells him even more firmly. Now her smile is gone; she lets him know in no uncertain terms that she doesn't want him around.
- Polite but assertive, "no nonsense" tone of voice (telling, not asking)
- Powerful, direct eye contact
- Strong body language, leaning forward aggressively, getting right in his face
- Serious, self-assured, "I mean business" facial expression
- Walking away assertively looking straight ahead
What happened because Geneva was PeopleSmart?
She doesn't get in trouble. The stranger leaves for good. She's in control of her life.
What can we learn from this?
- Be polite when refusing a stranger's unsolicited offer to help. After all, many strangers are good people who really do want to help. There's no reason to be nasty when rejecting their help. But be firm at the same time you're being polite, just as Geneva was in the PeopleSmart video vignette. This way, you'll communicate very clearly that you really don't want any help.
- Some strangers will say anything and make up any story to convince you that you can trust them and that they are not dangerous. If a stranger tells you something to try to make you do something you don't want to do, don't buy it. Don't trust strangers. Remember, it takes a long time to trust someone.
- Any strangers who don't leave you alone after you politely refuse their help are people you really need to be careful of. At this point, "crank it up a notch" when you refuse their help. As Geneva demonstrated, this doesn't mean screaming or making a scene; do this only as a last resort. It just means letting the stranger know in no uncertain terms that you really do mean what you say - that "no" really does mean "no."
- Know that you're right in refusing a stranger's unsolicited help. Show your conviction in what you say and how you say it. Say no in a way that shows you mean business. Say it in a way that sends a clear message - don't mess with me.
- Asserting yourself to a stranger who's trying to get you into trouble is a battle of wills. Use all of your resources - your words, your tone of voice, your body language, your facial expression to show that your will is stronger than the stranger's will. Most strangers who prey on people are like bullies; they're actually cowards who try to pick on people they think are weak. By showing that you're strong, not weak - that your will is stronger than the stranger's - you'll avoid getting in trouble with strangers. You'll avoid becoming a victim.
Step 4: Activities
Have students create wall charts listing verbal and nonverbal behaviors that accompany
- accepting a stranger's unsolicited help, and
- rejecting a stranger's unsolicited help.
Have students roleplay each of these behaviors.
Have students roleplay the NotSmart and PeopleSmart vignettes from the video. After each roleplay, have students discuss how they feel.
Remind students of the earlier discussion of instances when they or someone they knew got in trouble by accepting a stranger's unsolicited help. Have students roleplay
- NotSmart behavior, and
- PeopleSmart behavior in these situations.
Have students:
- Discuss instances when they refused a stranger's unsolicited help.
- Roleplay these situations.
Have students brainstorm different situations in which a stranger might offer unsolicited help. These might include being in a minor traffic accident, being stranded in a car that has broken down, looking lost, etc.
- Have students pair off and take turns roleplaying these situations in front of the class.
- Have students practice asserting themselves and rejecting the help.
- Have the class provide feedback.
Have students:
- Keep a journal of how well they reject unsolicited help from strangers.
- Report their experiences to the class. Have the class assist them in learning from their experiences and developing strategies for successfully rejecting unsolicited help from strangers.
Have students form small groups and create and perform rap songs entitled "Thanks, but No Thanks." Award prizes for each song's performance.
Have students discuss TV or movie scenes where a character got in trouble by accepting a stranger's unsolicited help. Have students roleplay these situations.
Have students cut out news stories about people who got in trouble by accepting a stranger's unsolicited help. Have them post these stories on a bulletin board.
Have students identify the negative consequences of accepting a stranger's unsolicited help and the personal benefits of rejecting a stranger's unsolicited help. Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.