Segment 2: Appear Interested

Objectives

Students will:

1. Understand why getting along with people is important
2. Understand the importance of showing interest when meeting someone
3. Identify negative consequences of appearing uninterested when meeting someone
4. Identify personal benefits of showing interest when meeting someone
5. Identify behaviors that convey interest in another person
6. Identify behaviors that convey lack of interest in another person
7. Model successfully showing interest when meeting someone

Step 1: Lesson Introduction

There are many ways to be unsuccessful in meeting people. One of these ways is by not showing any interest when you meet them. Ask students to discuss instances when they met someone and the person didn’t seem interested in them. How did that make them feel? Did it make them want to get to know the person better? Tell students that in today’s video, we’re going to see why appearing uninterested is a good way not to meet people.

▶️ Show the video.

⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.

Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1

What did Zed do that was NotSmart?

When Anthony tried to meet him, Zed showed no interest in Anthony. All he seemed to care about was his game. He:

• Made no eye contact with Anthony.
• Answered Anthony's friendly questions with short, unresponsive grunts in a flat, monotone, unfriendly tone of voice.
• Didn’t smile.
• Kept his face and body turned away from Anthony.

What happened because Zed was NotSmart?

Anthony gave up trying to be friendly and began talking with other students, who immediately responded in an interested, friendly way. By showing no interest in Anthony. Zed forced Anthony to conclude that he was bothering Zed and that Zed had no interest in talking to him. Zed ended up making Anthony feel rejected. And rejection is always painful, even for someone as happy-go-lucky as Anthony. It’s unlikely that Anthony will risk rejection again by trying to be friendly to Zed. And Anthony will probably tell the other students how unfriendly Zed was. Zed s chances of making friends in this class are slim.

How could Zed have been PeopleSmart?

Have students discuss how Zed could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation. Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one way Zed could have been PeopleSmart.

▶️ Start the video again.

⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.

Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2

How was Zed PeopleSmart this time?

He showed interest when Anthony greeted him.

• He nodded his head.
• He made eye contact.
• He returned Anthony’s greeting and introduced himself.
• His facial expression and tone of voice were enthusiastic and friendly.
• He turned his face toward Anthony.

What happened because Zed was PeopleSmart?

Zed and Anthony discovered they can have a lot of fun with each other and share similar interests. They decide to be study partners, which will probably help them both do better in the class and get to know each other better. They are well on the way to becoming good friends.

What can we learn from this?

• Again, in relationships, what you get is generally equal to what you give. If you want someone to be interested in you, put your attention on that person, not on yourself, and show interest in that person.
• Often when we look aloof or not interested in people, we’re simply shy. Or we’re afraid that if we act friendly to someone, we’ll be rejected. Or we think it’s safer to remain silent and be thought a fool, rather than speak up and prove that we’re a fool. But whatever our reasons, we can’t expect people to try to figure out why we’re acting uninterested in them. If we want to meet them, we need to show them that we do.

Step 4: Activities

Have students take turns showing a) interest, and b) lack of interest in another person by using only their faces. Then repeat the exercise, this time with students using only their body language. Repeat the exercise again, this time with students using only their tone of voice.

Have students create wall charts listing verbal and nonverbal behaviors that show

1. interest, and
2. lack of interest in another person.

Have students roleplay the NotSmart and PeopleSmart vignettes from the video. After each roleplay, have students discuss how they feel.

Remind students of the earlier discussion of instances when they met someone and the person failed to show interest in them. Have students roleplay these situations.

Have students:

• Discuss instances when they met someone they liked and the person showed interest in them. How did this make them feel?
• Roleplay these situations.

Have students pair off with someone in the class they don’t know very well. If all students know each other well, have them pretend they don’t. Then have students roleplay meeting each other and practice showing interest in the other person. For fun, you might want to have each pair take turns roleplaying in front of the class. The class can act as observers and shout “Interested” or “Not Interested” each time role players say or do something that shows interest or lack of interest in the other person. Possibly keep a running tally and award prizes to those who do the best job of showing interest.

Have students cut out pictures of people who appear interested or not interested in another person. Have students roleplay these situations, then create separate wall collages of these pictures.

Have students discuss TV or movie scenes where a character shows interest or lack of interest in another person. Have students roleplay these situations.

Have students identify the negative consequences of appearing uninterested and the personal benefits of showing interest when they meet someone. Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.