Play the video Part Two. We will see how children handle situations like Chester did.
Discussion questions and follow-up activities:
Be non-judgmental in your choice of words as you discuss the video vignettes with students; for example, say, “It’s a good idea to talk about it” rather than “It’s wrong when you don’t talk about it.” Remember, there may be sexual abuse survivors already in your classrooms. A good prevention program encourages those children to talk privately about what happened to them and does not increase their burden of guilt. Present your program in a way that doesn’t blame children if they cannot protect themselves.
- Did you notice that Mr. Jones, Sally, and Phil said, “This is Our little secret” or something about secrets? Can you tell me the difference between secrets and surprises? The difference between secrets and surprises is that you share surprises when the time is right. Gifts are sometimes surprises. Birthday parties are sometimes surprises. Some surprises are a lot of fun!
- Secrets are different. They aren’t going to be shared. The other person might say something like, “Don’t tell anyone, ever.” Adults shouldn’t ask kids to keep secrets, especially about touching.
- Will people usually stop touching if you tell them to? (They usually will, but if they don’t, you can still get away. Go to your room and lock the door, go home if you are someplace else, go next door and ask for help, call an emergency telephone number)
- Describe your “funny feeling”: the feeling you get when you know something isn’t right. Where do you feel it? (Your stomach? Maybe it hurts or starts to break when you get upset. Your face? Perhaps it gets hot, or you can feel yourself blush. Your eyes? Maybe you’re afraid or don’t want to look at the person anymore.)
- Who did Lana tell? Who did Jacob tell? (Suggest a teacher or counselor at school, or a family friend, or a religious youth leader, or even an agency)
- It is unfair for people to take advantage of children. Even though you may feel ashamed and wrong because the other person tricked you, it isn’t your fault.
- Is it your fault if you can’t get away? Why? (No, adults are supposed to know the rules. Most touching feels good and is friendly. Can you name your favorite touches? What are your favorite hugs?
- “I know there may be students in here who may have questions about sexual abuse. I am available to talk to you privately. Just say something to me about needing to talk, and I will find a way to talk to you without letting anyone know.” You may, however, have to inform the student that you must bring in more help than you can offer. (At this point, it is recommended that you formally refer the school counselor to follow-up should you become aware of the need to file a report or you recognize that the child needs more counseling than you can or are trained to provide.)
Let’s review what we’ve learned: Your body belongs to you. You can decide who touches you. If someone touches you in a way you don’t like or asks you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, gives you that “funny feeling” that something isn’t right, say “no.” Get away if you can. Tell someone. And remember, it’s not your fault.