We learned that Chester says "No" to touching, which he doesn't like. You can say “No” too if you don’t want to be touched. Here’s a new word for you: consent.
Consent means asking someone if they want to be touched (hugged, hold their hand, etc.) and then waiting for their answer. You can ask, “Can I give you a hug?” If they say “no” or don’t say “yes” or don’t say anything, DO NOT TOUCH (or HUG) THEM. They don’t want to be touched. Not everyone sometimes wants to be touched, even if they say “yes” to your hug or touch. If they said “yes” when you asked if you could hug them, go ahead and hug them. If they say “stop”, or “that’s enough”, or “that’s too tight of a hug (or squeeze)” you stop!
You have the same power as Chester to say “yes” or “no” to touching you if you don’t like it or feel it's wrong.
- Ask each student to name what they like and don't like about taste, hearing, seeing, and smell. Then, ask them in a similar manner about the sense of touch.
- Ask what they like and dislike about touching and being touched by other people.
- Let's practice our important voices. Let's start with giving consent and saying “yes” or "no" to touch—model what consent looks like before you have them partner up. For example, ask a classmate if you can hug them or hold their hand. Wait for their answer. Hug them only if they say “yes.” For the student on the receiving end, stand up straight, look the other person in the eye, and say "no" without giggling. Or “yes” if you want that hug.
- Ask them, what if you change your mind? You thought you wanted to be touched, but now you don’t. You can say “no” or “no, thank you”.
- Play Teacher May I or Captain May I: Gather a manageable (you know how many students you can handle at a time) group of students, choose your "teacher or captain," and have that individual stand about 10-20 feet away from everyone else. Have the children take turns asking questions beginning with "teacher/captain, may I?" to move forward and reach the teacher/captain. For example, “Teacher, may I take 3 jumps forward?” The teacher replies, “Yes, you may,” or might respond with, “No, you can take 4 jumps forward and 3 steps back.” And so on. After you’ve stopped the game, have students talk about how giving and denying permission felt. There are no right or wrong answers here.
Let kids decide when they want or don’t want to be touched (even by friends or relatives). You can broaden the exercise by suggesting students say “no” to hugs or handshakes that are too tight, say “stop,” etc.
Review and practice consent exercises.