In Video 2, after allowing her mind and her thoughts to be unnecessarily influenced by peer pressure, Morganne uses BeCool self-talk to neutralize her friends' coercive attempts to get her to drink alcohol. More than modeling good refusal skills, Morganne models self-talk skills related to self-control and self-respect.
Step 1: Student Introduction
Before viewing the video, discuss the following. Paraphrase and adapt the questions and content to meet the ability level of your students.
In the last video, "Cheating," we talked about self-disrespect. Who remembers what that means?
(Self-disrespect means acting in a way that is against one's values, preferences or best interests. Whenever we do something that we know or feel is wrong and not in our best interest, we are showing ourselves disrespect. In "Cheating," Charlie showed disrespect for himself when he made the decision to accept the bullies' bribe of friendship and protection.)
How do we show respect for ourselves?
(We show ourselves self-respect whenever we act in a way that we know or feel is right and in our best interest. Acts of self-respect range from playing by the rules of the game to speaking out against injustice.)
Step 2: View “Drinking” Video
Today we're going to see another video about how we can disrespect ourselves and how maintaining self-respect can sometimes mean saying no to our friends.
Why did Morganne almost lose it?
(Some of your students may respond by saying it was because her friends were pressuring her. This interpretation of other people and events "causing" us to feel and act the way we do is what Cognitive Theory calls a "thinking error." The reality is that, although her friends were applying peer pressure, it is Morganne who is responsible for how she reacts to it. The theory is, no one can get to us without our permission.)
What did Morganne do to keep her cool?
(First, she imagined where her negative self-talk would take her. Then she changed the way she thought about the problem: she used positive [rational] self-talk to manage her feelings and behavior.)
How did imagining the worst-case consequences of Losing It! help Morganne stay in control?
(By imagining what could happen if she acted on her negative self-talk, Morganne was able to clearly see that losing it was not in her best interest, or, in her words, "stupid.")
Why was Morganne's second way of handling the problem cool?
(Rather than running away from the problem and herself, Morganne made the only decision she knew was right for her. And she did it without bringing additional problems to herself. She also demonstrated to everyone that she was in charge of what she would and would not do. Her friends may be disappointed, but they cannot help but respect her for being true to her convictions.)
Optional:
Why is the thought "If I don't do what my friends want, they won't respect me" a thinking error?
(It's sometimes hard to believe, but people will respect us more for doing what we think is right than for giving in and doing what other people think is the right thing to do. It's also a mistake to think that real friends, people who care about our best interests, would stop liking us just because we said no thanks)
Step 3: Lesson Review
Using The BeCool (Rational) Self-Talk Process chart below or the "Talk Yourself Out of It" poster that came with your program, compare and contrast how Morganne's self-talk influenced how she felt and what she did.
The BeCool (Rational) Self-Talk Process
- Begin with imagining the consequences of Losing It! How could it lead to doing something stupid, something not in your best interest? Then do something smart: Talk Yourself Out of It:
- Instead of Inflating the Problem ... Use The BeCool 1-10 Problem Scale to Put Things in Perspective
- Instead of Letting Others Pull Your Strings ... Cut the Strings and Control Yourself
- Instead of Focusing on Blaming and Getting Even ... Focus on Fixing the Problem.
Step 4: Behavior Development Activities
Group Activity: Pass out Worksheet #9 (Appendix B). Ask different pairs of students to read aloud Morganne's negative (irrational) and positive (rational) self-talk. Encourage strong emotional expression when the negative self-talk is read and cool deliberation when the positive self-talk is read. After each set of questions is read, lead a group discussion to clarify and contrast the differences between Morganne's negative and positive self-talk. See Discussion highlighted on the next page Morganne’s Self Talk.