🥶

Anger: The COLD Response

The COLD (Giving up) Response to Another's Anger

Giving up or "COLD" responses to another's anger usually involve a helpless appearance, negative self-statements, sadness, withdrawal, or avoidance. COLD responses include:

COLD Appearance:

  1. Head down, No eye contact with angry person.
  2. Body bent over.
  3. Sad facial expression.
  4. Timid body movements

COLD Thoughts or Self-Talk:

  1. "This always happens to me."
  2. "There's nothing I can do about it."
  3. "If I speak up, they'll be more angry."
(This icon is used throughout the video series. See “
(This icon is used throughout the video series. See “Appendix” for full page version, which can be used in the classroom.)

COLD Behavior:

  1. Do or say nothing.
  2. Mutter or speak with a low voice volume.
  4. Leave or avoid the angry person.

(This icon is used throughout the video series. See "Appendix" for full page version, which can be used in the classroom.)

Drawbacks of the COLD (Giving up) Response

Drawbacks of giving up responses to anger include more angry behavior from the person, failure to solve the problem and negative thoughts about self. Additionally, feelings of anger, frustration or sadness may increase. Short-term relief may be felt by withdrawing when anger occurs, but does not help in reaching the long-term goal.