Anger: Reaction Summary

COLD Appearance:

1. Head down, no eye contact
2. Body bent over.
3. Sad facial expression
4. Timid body movements

COLD Thoughts or Self-Talk:

1. "This always happens to me."
2. "There's nothing I can do about it."
3. "I speak up, they'll be more angry."

COLD Behavior:

1. Do or say nothing
2. Mutter or speak with a low voice volume.
3. Cry.
4. Leave or avoid the angry person.

HOT Appearance:

1. Head up, glaring stare, 100 much eye contact.
2. Terse posture, clenched fists, light muscles.
3. Angry facial expressions

HOT Thoughts or Self-Talk:

1. "If I'm calm, they won't listen to me."
2. "If I don't fight back, they'll be more angry."
3. "Others will think I'm a baby if I don’t fight back."
4. "Go ahead, I'll get you back.”

HOT Behavior:

1. Arguing and not listening
2. Speaking loudly.
3. Angry voice.
4. Making threats.
5. Hitting throwing or breaking things.

COOL Appearance:

1. Take time to stop and relax. Pause, turn,look or step away, take deep breaths and do other relaxing" behaviors (stretching, etc.)
2. Confident facial expression.
3. Good eye contact when speaking and listening.
4. Speak with calm, "important voice."

COOL Thoughts or Self-Talk

1. "I'm going to stay calm and listen."
2. "I'm a good person even if they're angry at me."
3. "Is this anger fair?”
4. Decide if it's dangerous anger