We’re going to see the video again. This time we’ll stop the video for discussion after we see Aurora being COLD, HOT, and COOL.

▶️ Start Video. Bullying, Part 3. “Stand Your Ground / Talk the Talk”

⏸️ Stop the video after the COLD Response. This is the point at which the person is frozen on the screen opposite the image of a "COLD" Chester and he has finished discussing the effects of the person being COLD.

The COLD Response

What was the COLD reaction?

Aurora acted whiny and helpless. Even though she knew it was wrong, she gave in and let her friends pressure/bully her into doing what they wanted her to do.

How did you think Aurora felt?

Scared, uncomfortable, helpless, and unhappy that she couldn't stand up for herself.

What happened as a result of Aurora being COLD?

Her teacher caught them in the bathroom and now she's in trouble.

COLD Review

Not standing up for yourself doesn't work with a bully...the more Aurora acted helpless, the more her friends pressured/bullied her. Aurora isn't happy about going along with the girls, but she gave in and lets it happen, even though she knew it was wrong. Now she's in more trouble with the teacher. Let's see what happens with a HOT reaction.

▶️ Start Video. Resume playing the video. The HOT Response.

⏸️ Stop the video after the HOT Response. This is the point at which the person is frozen on the screen opposite the image of a "HOT" Chester, and he has finished discussing the effects of the person being HOT.

The HOT Response

What was the HOT reaction?

Aurora got angry with her friends calling her names, lost control, and started a fight.

Did it work? Why not?

No. Because Aurora lost control of her anger, she started a fight. That only made her get into trouble with the substitute teacher. Bullies aren't usually looking for a real fight. However, if you blow up, they may feel they have to fight.

HOT Review

Aurora's anger made her blow up. She started a fight with the girls instead of trying to talk to them and tell them how she felt. She's now in trouble. Let's see Aurora BeCool and "Stand Her Ground/Talk the Talk" without causing a fight.

▶️ Resume playing the video. The COOL Response. Start video. Play video to end.

The COOL Response

BeCool means: Looking COOL, Thinking COOL, and Acting COOL. Being cool worked for Aurora. She got her friends to stop bullying her by "Standing Her Ground."

What was the first thing Aurora did?

Aurora LOOKS COOL

• She takes a moment to stop and take some deep breaths to relax her body. She didn't give in to the anger and pressure she was feeling. Now she's able to think clearly.

Aurora THINKS COOL

• Before doing anything, Aurora thought about the different ways she could behave and if they would solve her problem.
• Next Aurora uses positive self-talk and decides to BeCool.

"Alright, Aurora, BeCool. I don't like what they're doing to me. It's not making me feel good. I want them to stop. I could just give in...that would stop them, but I think it's a bad idea. I could get mad...that would shut them up. No, I'm not going to be cold...I'm not going to be hot. I'm going to BeCool. I'm going to "stand my ground."

Aurora ACTS COOL by "Standing Her Ground" using the 4-Step Plan.

• Aurora uses her "important voice." It's calm and serious, but not angry.
• She stopped them from saying anything until she finished talking to them.
• She had good eye contact with them.

Step 1: Tell what behavior you don't like.

Aurora told her friends she didn't like them making her do something she didn't want to do and she didn't like being called names.

Step. 2: Tell how the behavior makes you feel.

Next, Aurora told them that they were making her feel bad.

Step 3: Tell what behavior you want.

Then, Aurora told them she didn't want them to keep trying to make her do something she didn't want to do.

Step. 4: Tell what will happen if you can't work things out.

Finally, Aurora told them she wouldn't want to play with them if they didn't stop pressuring her.

Did it work? Why?

Yes. "Standing Her Ground/Talking the Talk" worked great for Aurora. Her friends listened to her and she didn't allow them to interrupt what she had to say. She even convinced Imani and Lauren to go to class, too. She felt proud about standing up for herself, and she learned she was able to solve her problem.

What if they didn't listen to Aurora and just kept bugging her about cutting class or threatened not to be friends?

She could say that she really wants to talk, but if they don't want to listen. she has no choice but to leave and go to class.

Summary

Aurora took a breath and relaxed her body. Once she was under control, in her "important voice," she used the 4-Step Plan and "Stood Her Ground/Talked the Talk." She confidently said what she didn't like and what she wanted and the pressuring stopped.