Objectives
Students will:
- Understand why being receptive can help turn an acquaintance into a friend
- Understand what it means to rain on someone’s parade
- Identify the negative consequences of raining on someone’s parade
- Identify personal benefits of being receptive
- Identify behaviors that convey being unreceptive to ideas
- Identify behaviors that convey being receptive to ideas
- Model successfully being receptive.
- Understand the importance of voicing concerns for someone's ideas in a way that shows caring and consideration
- Model successfully voicing concerns for someone's ideas in a way that shows caring and consideration
Step 1: Lesson Introduction
Last time, we found out why it’s important to self-disclose if you want an acquaintance to be your friend. We learned that if you don’t self-disclose, you probably won’t become friends with this person. There are other ways to keep an acquaintance from becoming a friend. One of these ways is by always raining on their parade. Ask students if they know what this expression means. Give a demonstration by asking students to propose different things to do. With each suggestion, respond in a negative, unreceptive way and come up with some reason why this is a bad idea. Then explain to students that this is what it means to rain on someone’s parade shooting down their suggestions, ideas or plans by being unreceptive and negative. Have students discuss instances when someone has rained on their parade. How did that make them feel? Did it make them want to be the person’s friend? Tell students that in today’s video, we’re going to see why raining on the parade is a good way to keep an acquaintance from becoming a friend.
▶️ Show the video.
⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.
Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1
What did Johnny do that was NotSmart?
He rained on the parade of his roommates. He voiced a number of objections to their idea of having a party. They promised that they would do all the work, it wouldn’t cost him anything, and he could invite his friends. But still, he objected.
- Slumped posture
- No eye contact
- Scowling facial expression
- Body facing away from them
What happened because Johnny was NotSmart?
- He made his roommates angry and frustrated. They told him that every time they try to do something, he always shoots it down. They stomped away in disgust.
- Johnny has blown an excellent opportunity to show his roommates that he wants to be their friend. Not only will they not want to be his friend; they probably won’t want to be his roommate anymore either. Johnny could be out on the street very soon.
How could Johnny have been PeopleSmart?
Have students discuss how Johnny could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation. Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one way Johnny could have been PeopleSmart.
▶️ Start the video again.
⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.
Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2
How was Johnny PeopleSmart this time?
He still had objections to the party. But this time he was more receptive; he was at least willing to talk it over.
What happened because Johnny was PeopleSmart?
By being more receptive, Johnny encouraged his roommates to be more understanding in showing him how he would benefit personally from the party. As Johnny showed more consideration for what they wanted, they showed more consideration for what he wanted. In this way, they won him over gently instead of making Johnny feel ganged up on and defensive. As a result, Johnny is now enthusiastic and excited about the party!
- Smiling
- Nodding his head
- Speaking with conviction
- More open body language
With Johnny fully committed and involved in the plans, the party is bound to be a resounding success. And Johnny will take a big step toward becoming a real friend with his roommates.
What can we learn from this?
- It’s hard to be someone s friend if you automatically shoot down all their plans and ideas without even considering their merits. If you don’t respect any of their ideas, you show that you don’t respect them as people.
- A good way to show that you care about someone is to be receptive to their ideas and look for ways to help them carry out their plans.
- If you have serious concerns about something a friend or acquaintance wants to do if you sincerely believe that it’s not in their own best interests - you can voice your concerns in a way that shows caring and consideration. When you re caring and considerate in sharing your concerns, others will generally be caring and considerate in listening to your concerns. What you get from people is generally equal to what you give.
Step 4: Activities
Have students roleplay the NotSmart and PeopleSmart vignettes from the video. After each roleplay, have students discuss how they feel.
Remind students of the earlier discussion of instances when someone rained on their parade. Have students roleplay these situations.
Have students:
- Discuss instances when a friend or acquaintance was receptive to an idea of theirs or something they wanted to do.
- Roleplay these situations.
Distribute balloons and felt tip pens to the class.
- Have students blow up the balloons and write ideas on the balloons for fun projects, activities, and outings the class could do together.
- Have students take turns presenting their ideas to the class while holding their balloons, then tossing the balloon to the class.
- Each time, have the student who catches the balloon:
- Come up with reasons why this is a bad idea.
- Stomp on the balloon and blow it up.
- Afterward, have students discuss how they felt about having their ideas shot down. Repeat the first part of the above exercise.
- But this time, after each student presents his/her idea, instruct the other students to:
- Keep the balloon aloft with their hands.
- State reasons why the student's proposal is a great idea.
- Afterward, have students discuss how they felt having others respond positively and receptively to their ideas.
Have half the class form a single file line.
- Instruct them to march or dance through the classroom and pretend they are having a parade.
- Play a song everyone knows on a boom box and have the parade-goers sing along as they march or dance.
- Instruct the other students - the observers of the parade - to heckle the parade-goers and try to drown out their song with their heckling and shouting.
- Afterward, have the students in the parade discuss how they feel.
Repeat the above exercise, but this time instruct the observers to clap in time to the music, sing along with the song and join the parade. Afterward, have students discuss how they feel.
Have students pair off and role play voicing concerns for an idea of their partner in a way that shows caring and consideration.
Have students form small groups and create and perform rap songs entitled “Don’t Rain on My Parade”. Award prizes for each song’s performance.
Have students identify the negative consequences of raining on someone’s parade and the personal benefits of being receptive. Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.