Segment 2: Accept Invitations

Objectives

Students will:

1. Understand why accepting an invitation can help turn an acquaintance into a friend
2. Identify negative consequences of declining an invitation
3. Identify personal benefits of accepting an invitation
4. Identify behaviors that accompany declining an invitation
5. Identify behaviors that accompany accepting an invitation
6. Model successfully accepting an invitation
7. Understand the importance of taking responsibility for contributing to the success of an occasion when accepting an invitation
8. Model successfully taking responsibility for contributing to the success of an occasion when accepting an invitation
9. Identify people whose invitations would not be PeopleSmart to accept
10. Model successfully declining an invitation from these people

Step 1: Lesson Introduction

Last time, we found out why it’s important to share if you want an acquaintance to be your friend. We learned that if you don't share, you probably won’t become friends with this person. There are other ways to keep an acquaintance from becoming a friend. One of these ways is by not accepting invitations. Ask students to discuss different kinds of invitations to go to a party, to go out on a date, or to do something with a friend or acquaintance. Have students discuss instances when they invited someone to do something, and the person said no. How did that make them feel? Did it make them want to be the person’s friend? Tell students that in today’s video, we’re going to see why not accepting invitations is a good way to keep an acquaintance from becoming a friend.

▶️ Show the video.

⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.

Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1

What did Zed do that was NotSmart?

He turned down the invitation to go to the movie. The others really wanted him to come, but he said he didn’t want to intrude.

• He spoke in a low, hesitant voice
• He shook his head
• Lowered eyes
• Slumped shoulders
• Body turned away from them

Zed not only declined their movie invitation; he turned down their offer to join them for coffee. Then he left suddenly without any explanation

What happened because Zed was NotSmart?

He has made the others feel awkward, confused and uncomfortable. They tried reaching out to him, but he turned down both of their invitations. They feel bad that Zed is so shy. But it’s doubtful they’ll keep making an effort to draw him out of his shell. They’ll probably just conclude that he prefers to be left alone. Zed has missed out on an excellent opportunity to turn acquaintances into friends.

How could Zed have been PeopleSmart?

Have students discuss how Zed could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation. Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one way Zed could have been PeopleSmart.

▶️ Start the video again.

⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.

Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2

How was Zed PeopleSmart this time?

He declined their movie invitation at first. But then he changed his mind and accepted. Now that the ice is broken, he also accepts their invitation to join them for coffee. He really comes out of his shell.

• Turning to face them
• Being playful (“Pour me a double!”)
• Warm, smiling face
• Enthusiastic voice
• Friendly gestures
• Volunteering to drive

What happened because Zed was PeopleSmart?

By unleashing his personality, Zed has energized everyone else. Now they’re more excited about their movie plans than they were before. And they are impressed that Zed is taking responsibility for the evening s success by volunteering to drive. They all want to get to know him better. Zed is well on his way to turning one or more of these acquaintances into friends!

What can we learn from this?

• Again, an acquaintance doesn’t become a friend in a single act. It usually takes a long time and many experiences together for people to become true friends. But by accepting the invitations, Zed moved his relationship with these acquaintances one step closer to becoming a friendship.
• When you accept an invitation, look for ways to take responsibility for the success of the occasion. For example, Zed offered to drive to the movie. How can you contribute besides just showing up? By looking for ways to contribute, you show that your attention is on others, not on yourself. You also show that you want to be a full participant in things, not just someone who’s along for the ride.
• People wouldn’t invite you to do something if they thought you were going to be an intrusion. They see something in you that makes them want to be with you. By accepting, you add something valuable to their lives - yourself, your unique personality, the energy and excitement, and the good vibes that you provide. Don’t deprive them of these good things - accept that invitation!

Step 4: Activities

Have students create wall charts listing verbal and nonverbal behaviors that accompany

• accepting an invitation, and
• declining an invitation.

Have students roleplay each of these behaviors.

Have students roleplay the NotSmart and PeopleSmart vignettes from the video. After each roleplay, have students discuss how they feel.

Remind students of the earlier discussion of instances when someone declined an invitation of theirs. Have students roleplay these situations.

Have students:

• Discuss instances when they accepted an invitation.
• Roleplay these situations.

Have students roleplay

• declining and
• accepting invitations

To go to a party, go on a date, do a class assignment together, go to the mall, and other common situations. When accepting, have students try to propose some way in which they can take responsibility for contributing to the success of these occasions (bring food to a party, suggest things to do with a date or an acquaintance, offer to drive, etc.)

Have students:

• Identify some people whose invitations they would not be PeopleSmart to accept (drug dealers, gang members, suspicious strangers, etc.).
• Roleplay saying no to the invitations of these people.

Have students form small groups and create and perform rap songs about accepting an invitation. Award prizes for each song’s performance.

Have students identify the negative consequences of declining an invitation and the personal benefits of accepting an invitation. Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.