Objectives
Students will:
- Understand why getting along with people is important
- Define what a friend is
- Define what an acquaintance is
- Understand that friends are more rare than acquaintances
- Understand why sharing can help turn an acquaintance into a friend
- Identify the negative consequences of refusing to share
- Identify personal benefits of sharing
- Identify behaviors that accompany refusing to share
- Identify behaviors that accompany sharing
- Model successfully sharing with others
- Develop strategies for sharing
Step 1: Lesson Introduction
Discuss with students why living independently in the community is important. Ask students why getting along with people is an essential part of living independently in the community. Have students identify friends or acquaintances of theirs. How have these friendships and relationships made their lives happier, richer, and more successful? In what ways have their dealings or relationships with other people in the community made their lives more successful?
Ask students what we mean when we call someone our friend. Define a friend as someone who really cares about our well-being and who is always there for us. Then ask what we mean when we call someone an acquaintance. Define an acquaintance as simply someone we know. Tell students that most of us have more acquaintances than friends. Draw four circles on the chalkboard, each within the other. Label the smallest circle You, label the next circle Friends, label the next circle Acquaintances, and label the outside circle Strangers. Make the following points here and throughout the program:
- Friends are people we know better than acquaintances, and acquaintances are people we know better than strangers.
- It’s good to know whether someone is your friend or simply someone you know that is, an acquaintance. This way, you won’t expect more from acquaintances than they are willing or ready to offer. You won’t be disappointed if they let you down. You won’t be more intimate with them than you should be.
- For now, we don t need to get too hung up on the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. During this program, we’ll understand better what this difference is. In fact, we may discover how rare and special a true friend really is.
Have students discuss instances when:
- Someone they thought was their friend let them down or acted in some way that showed they weren’t really a friend.
- Someone came through for them or behaved in some way that showed they were really a friend.
Make the point that we may not want to be friends with everyone. Have students identify some people they do not want to be friends with (drug dealers, gang members, strangers who act suspiciously or make sexual advances, etc.). Emphasize that with these people, students will not want to use the PeopleSmart behaviors they’ll be learning in this program. But with acquaintances they do want to get to know better and be friends with, PeopleSmart behaviors can help students pull these people from the Acquaintances circle into the Friends circle.
Tell students that one way we can make sure someone does not become our friend is by not sharing with that person. Ask students to discuss instances when someone refused to share something with them. How did that make students feel? Did it make them want to be the person s friend? Tell students that in today’s video, we're going to see why refusing to share is a good way to keep an acquaintance from becoming a friend.
▶️ Show the video.
⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.
Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1
What did Johnny do that was NotSmart?
Johnny behaved like a selfish, disgusting pig who cared only about stuffing his face. It was bad enough that he had such gross manners, eating with his mouth open and spitting out half-eaten food as he talked. But bad manners don’t make someone a bad friend. Johnny showed he was no friend of Wayne’s by refusing to share his lunch, even though this meant Wayne would go hungry or have to walk all the way back to the vending machine. Johnny:
- Spoke in a harsh, whiny voice.
- Avoided eye contact.
- Used angry gestures.
- Had a hostile, unsmiling facial expression.
- Had much more food than he could possibly eat, but he would only let Wayne have a few crumbs, and he gave these only with great reluctance and after practically forcing Wayne to beg.
What happened because Johnny was NotSmart?
Wayne called Johnny a pig and left in disgust. Now he’ll either go hungry or have to run all the way back to the vending machine and gobble down something in a rush. Now that Johnny has shown what a selfish jerk he is, Wayne won’t want to have anything to do with him. Johnny will be eating his lunches alone from now on, and Wayne won’t want to work with him either. This will make Johnny’s job more difficult. And if Johnny ever needs a favor from Wayne, he can forget it; Wayne will remember today and tell Johnny to get lost.
How could Johnny have been PeopleSmart?
Have students discuss how Johnny could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation. Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one way Johnny could have been PeopleSmart.
▶️ Start the video again.
⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.
Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2
How was Johnny PeopleSmart this time?
Wayne was prepared to walk back to the vending machine, but Johnny persuaded him to stay and share his lunch.
- He smiled.
- His voice and facial expression were friendly.
- He made eye contact.
- He gestured in a friendly way that showed he really wanted Johnny to stay and share his lunch.
What happened because Johnny was PeopleSmart?
Wayne gratefully accepted Johnny’s offer. He’s really happy because Johnny came through for him when he needed it. They joke around and will have a fun time eating lunch together. Because he’s well-fed and has such good feelings for Johnny, Wayne is sure to be a good co-worker, which will make Johnny’s job easier and more pleasant. Now Wayne knows that Johnny is more than just a nice co-worker or a good acquaintance he may turn out to be a great friend!
What can we learn from this?
- An acquaintance doesn’t become a friend in a single act. It usually takes a long time and many experiences together for people to become true friends. But by sharing, Johnny moved his relationship with Johnny one step closer to becoming a friendship.
- Friends don’t think only of themselves. They care about the well-being of their friends. By sharing something you have with someone who needs it, you show that you care about their well-being.
- The best kind of sharing is the kind that Johnny showed he didn’t even wait for Wayne to ask. He saw what Wayne needed and shared without any hesitation or reluctance.
- When you really care about someone s well-being, you don’t feel any sense of loss when you share. You feel you’ve gained because you’ve made the other person feel better.
Step 4: Activities
Have students create wall charts listing verbal and nonverbal behaviors that accompany
- sharing, and
- refusing to share.
Have students roleplay each of these behaviors.
Have students roleplay the NotSmart and PeopleSmart vignettes from the video. After each roleplay, have students discuss how they feel.
Remind students of the earlier discussion of instances when someone refused to share with them. Have students roleplay these situations.
Have students:
- Discuss instances when someone shared with them. How did this make them feel?
- Roleplay these situations.
Bring some candy bars, chewing gum, or other small snacks to class, but only enough for half the class. Toss these snacks randomly to students, or create some game where only certain students win the snacks. Then have students share their snacks with the other students. Afterward, have students discuss how they feel.
Have students form small groups and create and perform rap songs about The Joys of Sharing. Award prizes for each song s performance.
Have students:
- Keep a journal of how well they share in their daily lives.
- Report their experiences to the class. Have the class assist them in learning from their experiences and developing strategies for doing a better job of sharing.
Have students discuss TV or movie scenes where a character shared or refused to share. Have students roleplay these situations.
Have students identify the negative consequences of refusing to share and the personal benefits of sharing. Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.