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Segment 3: Don't Trust A Stranger's Promise

Objectives

Students will:

  1. Understand why it's important to disregard a stranger's promise
  2. Recognize the importance of listening to fear in order to remain safe in dangerous situations
  3. Understand why it's important to never let a stranger into your home
  4. Identify common stories that strangers make up to be invited into a home
  5. Identify the negative consequences of trusting a stranger's promise
  6. Identify the personal benefits of disregarding a stranger's promise
  7. Identify behaviors that accompany trusting a stranger's promise
  8. Identify behaviors that accompany disregarding a stranger's promise
  9. Model successfully disregarding a stranger's promise

Step 1: Lesson Introduction

Last time, we found out why it's important to stand firm after saying no to a stranger. We learned that if you relent after saying no, you could get in trouble. There are other ways to get in trouble with strangers. One of these ways is by trusting a stranger's promise.

  • Review with students that trust means being confident that someone cares about your best interests and that they'll do what they say they'll do.
  • Remind students also that we've learned that trust, like friendship, takes a long time to build. This is why it's not smart to trust the promise of a stranger, someone we don't even know.
  • Ask students to discuss instances when they or someone they knew got in trouble by trusting a stranger's promise.
  • Tell students that in today's video, we're going to see why it's important to disregard a stranger's promise.

鈻讹笍 Show the video.

鈴革笍 Stop the video when the "Pause for Discussion" title appears on the screen.

Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1

What did Lani do that was NotSmart?

Give Lani credit: She resists opening the door for the stranger. She's afraid of him and knows she shouldn't let him in. She tries to direct him to another phone.

But she finally weakens and lets him in when he convinces her that this is a genuine emergency. She trusts his promise that he'll leave as soon as he makes the call. Then once he's inside, she falls for his trick question and inadvertently reveals that she's home alone.

  • Confused, concerned, anxious facial expression
  • Timid, uncertain tone of voice
  • Frightened, cowering body language, arms crossed in fear
  • Eyes blinking rapidly in fear

What happened because Lani was NotSmart?

She gets in trouble. The stranger throws her on the couch and pulls out a knife. There's no one around to help her. If she's lucky, he'll only rob her apartment and maybe beat her up. Unfortunately, it looks more likely she'll be raped or even murdered.

How could Lani have been PeopleSmart?

Have students discuss how Lani could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation.

Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one way Lani could have been PeopleSmart.

鈻讹笍 Start the video again.

鈴革笍 Stop the video when the "Pause for Discussion" title appears on the screen.

Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2

How was Lani PeopleSmart this time?

  • She disregards the stranger's promise.
  • She offers to make the call for him and tells him to wait outside.
  • When he offers excuses why this isn't a satisfactory solution, she still refuses to let him in.
  • After he leaves, she calls the police.
  • Eyes wide open, direct eye contact, no blinking
  • Assertive, increasingly firm and decisive, "I mean business" tone of voice
  • Serious, no-nonsense facial expression
  • "Standing firm" body language; SHE WON'T BE BUDGED

What happened because Lani was PeopleSmart?

She doesn't get in trouble. She knows she has escaped an encounter with a dangerous stranger. She also knows he may still be lurking nearby. After seeing how firm she is, he probably won't be back. But, to be safe, she calls the police. When the stranger sees them coming, he will leave the neighborhood and not try to victimize Lani or one of her neighbors. She's in control of her life.

What can we learn from this?

  • In the NotSmart vignette, Lani was afraid to let the stranger in, but she didn't listen to her fear. By not listening to her fear, she got in trouble. In the PeopleSmart vignette, she listened to her fear and heeded it. Consequently, she stayed out of trouble. As the best-selling book. The Gift of Fear emphasizes, fear is a gift that can keep us out of trouble in dangerous situations. Again, when dealing with strangers, it's better to be safe by listening to our fear - than sorry.
  • Never let a stranger into your home, especially when you're home alone. If a stranger won't go away after you tell them to leave, call 911.
  • Again, some strangers will say anything and make up any story to convince you that you can trust them and that they are not dangerous. If a stranger tells you something to try to make you do something you don't want to do, don't buy it. Trust your fear, don't trust the stranger. Remember, it takes a long time to trust someone.
  • Between friends, promises are golden. Friends keep their promises and do what they say they'll do. But strangers aren't friends. Because you don't know them, you can't believe they'll keep their promises.
  • Again, any strangers who don't leave you alone after you politely say no are people you really need to be careful of. At this point, "crank it up a notch" when you say no again. Let the stranger know in no uncertain terms that you really do mean what you say - that "no" really does mean "no."
  • Know that you're right in saying no to a stranger and standing firm on your no. Show your conviction in what you say and how you say it. Say no in a way that shows you mean business.
  • Again, asserting yourself with a stranger who's trying to get you into trouble is a battle of wills. Use all of your resources - your words, your tone of voice, your body language, your facial expression - to show that your will is stronger than the stranger's will. By doing this, you'll avoid getting in trouble with strangers. You'll avoid becoming a victim.

Step 4: Activities

Have students create wall charts listing behaviors that accompany

  • trusting a stranger's promise, and
  • disregarding a stranger's promise.

Have students roleplay each of these behaviors.

Have students roleplay the NotSmart and PeopleSmart vignettes from the video. After each roleplay, have students discuss how they feel.

Remind students of the earlier discussion of instances when they or someone they knew got in trouble by trusting a stranger's promise. Have students roleplay

  • NotSmart behavior, and
  • PeopleSmart behavior in these situations.

Have students brainstorm different stories a stranger might make up to try to convince you to let them into your home. If possible, invite a law enforcement representative to help students identify these stories. These might include: my car broke down, my wife's having a baby, I'm having a heart attack, I'm a police officer, I'm from the phone company, etc.

  • Have students take turns roleplaying NotSmart and PeopleSmart behavior in these situations in front of the class
  • Have the class provide feedback.

Have students form small groups and create and perform rap songs entitled "I Hear You Knocking (But You Can't Come In)." Award prizes for each song's performance.

Have students discuss TV or movie scenes where a character got in trouble by trusting a stranger's promise or by letting a stranger into their home. Have students roleplay these situations.

Have students cut out news stories about people who got in trouble by letting a stranger into their home. Have them post these stories on a bulletin board.

Have students identify the negative consequences of trusting a stranger's promise and the personal benefits of disregarding a stranger's promise. Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.