Goals

The goals of the "Lending Money" session are for the participants to learn:

1. The basic rights and rules of lending (Overview)
2. Special rules to consider when lending money

Strategies

The following steps will be used in teaching "Lending Money" skills:

• instructional content explaining the essential skills and elements involved
• modeling appropriate responses (facilitators)
• providing the opportunity for participants to rehearse and roleplay
• discussing and providing clear informative feedback concerning roleplay
• providing the opportunity for participants to rehearse and roleplay following feedback
• giving feedback to the role-play situations and summarizing the main points

Ask if any of the participants had an opportunity to lend something since the last session and thus practice what was discussed at our last meeting. If yes, have participants describe the situation and how they incorporated what was discussed. Get input from others - possible improvements, constructive comments, and positive feedback. If no situation is brought up. encourage participants to think about the content of the meetings during the week and to bring up situations that have occurred which involve the skills discussed to date

🎭 Props

• Make-believe money ($1.00,$5.00,$10.00 bills)
• Board or flip chart to write the four questions on
• Sample I.O.U

1. Instructional review: The rights and rules of lending (overview)
• right to impose conditions if you choose to lend
• right to think it over and ask for advice lend only to people you know well
• never lend expensive things
• consider your needs before lending
• lend only to people you trust

📖 Review Last Session's Content

The basic rules of lending. All these rules generally apply to lending money in addition to some specific rules to consider when lending money Explain and discuss the different precautions to take when considering lending money to another person. Emphasize the importance of one's need for money versus the other person's expressed need. Encourage consultation and advice seeking from family, friends, or service providers. Review all points from the "Lending" session

There are FOUR simple questions that you should ask yourself before lending money to anyone. If you answer any of these questions with a "NO," then you should NOT be lending money to the person who is asking to borrow.

Lend Only to people you Know Well

The facilitator may wish to discuss the difference between choosing to give money for charity or to a panhandler versus lending money and expecting to get it back

The first question to ask yourself before lending money to anyone is:

🌟 Modeling

A facilitator should model a situation where s/he is asked to lend money to a stranger

• Facilitator is asked by a new co-worker to lend him $5.00 so he can buy lunch.
• The facilitator should formulate a polite refusal explaining that s/he does not lend money to people s/he does not know very well (use the pat phrase).

Pat Phrase: "Sorry, but I don't lend money to people I don't know well."

Roleplay Vignettes

1. A stranger walks up to you at the comer store and asks to borrow $2.00 to pay for milk and bread, they promise to go to their car and pay you back right away.
1. There are four questions you should ask yourself, answering "NO" to #1 and stopping
2. Politely refuse to lend the money using the pat phrase
2. You are sitting on the front porch and a stranger walks over and asks to borrow $5.00 to pay the newspaper boy, he promises to give it back right away when he goes to the bank machine.
1. There are four questions you ask yourself, answering "NO" to #1 and stopping
2. Politely refuse to tend the money using the pat phrase.

Individualize roleplay vignettes whenever possible by substituting objects or situations with those brought up by participants during previous discussions.

🗯️ Discussion/Feedback

The facilitator is to observe closely the participants' actions and reactions during the roleplay and provide feedback on their participation. The facilitator should not hesitate to stop the role-play if the participants are rehearsing incorrectly or are in need of guidance. The role-play situations must be as pleasant and rewarding as possible. Social praise and compliments should be frequently used.

Never Lend More Than $10.00 to Anyone

$10.00 is a lot of money Anyone who needs to borrow more than $10.00 might be having serious money problems and it may not be a good idea to lend them the money. Discuss the significance of $10.00 or more dollars in someone's weekly budget. It is generally a big chunk of money and difficult for anyone to do without. It will also be difficult for the borrower to pay back such a big amount of money.

The first two questions to ask yourself before lending money to anyone are:

📹 Video Vignette:

10. "Don't lend more than $10.00" (Scene: Susan lends Molly $50.00)

🗯️ Discussion on Vignette

Open discussion about the video vignette. What did Susan do? Discuss from the perspective of the lender.

• What was the situation in the video presented?
• What should Susan have done? Why?
• Did Susan have the right to refuse to lend her money?
• What could she have said?
• Pat phrase: "Sorry, I don't lend that much money to anyone."
• Has this ever happened to anyone in the group?

▶️ Video: "Let's look at one solution to the problem."

🌟 Modeling

A facilitator should model a situation where she is asked to lend more than $10.00

• Modeler is asked by a friend to lend $30.00
• The modeler should formulate a polite refusal using the pat phrase

Roleplay Vignettes

1. Your brother wants to borrow $20.00 until payday
1. Ask yourself the four questions, answering "YES" to #1 but "NO" to #2 and stopping.
2. Politely refuse using the pat phrase.
2. Your housemate asks to borrow $40.00 so that he can buy a new radio, he promises to give you the money back the next day when he gets money out of the bank.
1. Ask yourself the four questions, answering "YES" to #1 but "NO" to #2 and stopping.
2. Politely refuse using the pat phrase.
3. A staff person with whom you have worked for years asks to borrow $25.00 until he gets his paycheck cashed.
1. Ask yourself the four questions, answering "YES" to #1 but "NO" to #2 and stopping.
2. Politely refuse using the pat phrase

Individualize roleplay vignettes whenever possible by substituting objects or situations with those brought up by participants during previous discussions.

🗯️ Discussion/Feedback

The facilitator is to observe closely the participants' actions and reactions during the roleplay and provide feedback on their participation. The facilitator should not hesitate to interrupt if the participants are rehearsing incorrectly or are in need of guidance. The role-play situations must be as pleasant and rewarding as possible. Social praise and compliments should be frequently used

Consider your Needs before Lending Money Always consider your financial needs before lending anyone money Never lend money that you think you will need Take the time to consider whether you will be needing the money before the borrower promises to return it. If you need the money say "NO." Use the following pat phrase in this situation:

Pat Phrase: "Sorry, I can't lend you the money because I will be needing it."

The first three questions to ask yourself before lending money to anyone are:

🌟 Modeling

A facilitator should model a situation where he can't lend money because of his own needs

• Facilitator is asked by a friend to lend $8.00 so that the friend can buy some cigarettes
• Facilitator asks himself the four questions out loud, answering "YES" to #1 and #2, but "NO" to #3 because he will need that money to pay some
• Modeler should formulate a polite refusal (use the pat phrase)

Roleplay Vignettes

1. A housemate wants to borrow $8,00 from you until next month.
1. Ask yourself the four questions, answering "YES" to #1 and #2, but "NO" to #3 because you need that money to go to a planned outing that evening.
2. Politely refuse using the pat phrase.
2. Your housemate asks to borrow $ 5.00 until next week.
1. Ask yourself the four questions, answering "YES" to #1 and #2, but "NO" to #3 because you need that money to go to a planned outing that evening.
2. Politely refuse using the pat phrase.

Individualize roleplay vignettes whenever possible by substituting objects or situations with those brought up by participants during previous discussions.

🗯️ Discussion/Feedback

The facilitator is to observe closely the participants' actions and reactions during the roleplay and provide feedback on their participation. The facilitator should not hesitate to stop the role-play if the participants are rehearsing incorrectly or are in need of guidance. The role-play situations must be as pleasant and rewarding as possible. Social praise and compliments should be frequently used

Lend Only to People You Trust

Lend money only to people who have cared for your trust or who have never done anything to cause you to distrust them. Do NOT lend money to individuals who borrow money and do not return it when promised

📹 Video Vignette

11. "Can you trust him?" (Scene Scott and Pam are complaining about how Marc owes them both money. Then Marc comes in and asks to borrow more money and they lend it to him)

🗯️ Discussion on Vignette

Open discussion about the video vignette. What did Scott and Pam do?

Discuss from the perspective of the lenders.

• What was the situation in the video presented?
• What should Scott and Pam have done? Why?
• Did Scott and Pam have the right to refuse to lend their money?
• What could they have said?
• Pat phrase: "Sorry, I don't lend money to people who already owe me money."
• Has this ever happened to anyone in the group?

▶️ Video: "Let's look at one solution to the problem."

The FOUR questions to ask yourself before lending money to anyone are:

Modeling

A facilitator should model a situation where she is asked to lend $5.00

• Facilitator is asked by a co-worker to lend him $5.00 for lunch, but this person already owes him/her money from last week that s/he is late in returning.
• The modeler should ask him/herself aloud the four questions, answering "YES" to #1, #2, and #3, but answering "NO" to #4 and stop.
• The modeler should formulate a polite refusal (use the pat phrase)

Roleplay Vignettes

1. A friend who owes you $5.00 asks to borrow $10.00 to pay for a new music that he wants to buy and promises to pay you back everything he owes you the very next day.
1. Ask yourself the four questions, answering "YES" to #1, #2, and #3, but answering "NO" 10 to #4
2. Formulate a refusal based on the fact that you don't lend money to people who already owe you money (use the pat phrase).
2. Your sister comes over to visit and asks to borrow $5.00 to pay for the cab fare back home. She still owes you $5.00 from the last visit's cab fare.
1. Ask yourself the four questions, answering "YES" to #1, #2, and #3, but answering "NO" to #4
2. Formulate a polite refusal (use the pat phrase)
3. A co-worker comes over to you during break and asks to borrow $2.00 (he has borrowed money in the past and it has always been difficult to get your money back)
1. Ask yourself the four questions, answering "YES" to #1, #2, and #3, but answering "NO" to #4.
2. Politely refuse, stating that you have had trouble getting your money back from him in the past.

Individualize roleplay vignettes whenever possible by substituting objects or situations with those brought up by participants during previous discussions.

🗯️ Discussion/Feedback

The facilitator is to observe closely the participants' actions and reactions during the roleplay and provide feedback on their participation The facilitator should not hesitate to stop the roleplay if the participants are rehearsing incorrectly or are in need of guidance. The role-play situations must be as pleasant and rewarding as possible Social praise and compliments should be frequently used

Considerations If You do Decide to Lend Money

(If all Four Questions are answered "YES")

1. Make a note

This could be a mental note or on a piece of paper so that the lender does not forget about the loan. The

note should include who (name) you lent the money to, the amount of money lent, and the agreed time or date the money should be returned.

2. Don't be shy to remind the borrower if she forgets.

Don't be shy to remind the borrower if she forgets how much she owes you or if s/he doesn't pay you back when promised. It may happen that the borrower has forgotten. A polite reminder will often be enough to jar his/her memory and get your money.

3. If you are uncertain about lending money, ask for advice.

If you have any doubts or are uncertain about whether to lend money or not, take some time to think it over or get advice from someone you trust. Ask the borrower to wait - but give them an answer - DO NOT use this situation to passively refuse by pretending to forget about it.

If you need to think it over you may say to the borrower something like

Pat Phrase: "I would like to take some time to think about it. I will let you know by giving an approximate time]."

or

"Hmmm, I need to think it over and see whether or not I will need the money before I can decide to lend it to you."

🌟 Modeling

A facilitator should model a situation where she is asked to lend $5.00 to a good friend until the next payday. But the facilitator would like to think it over before giving the person a decision:

• The modeler should ask her/himself the four questions, answering "YES" to all but #3 - the modeler needs some time to think it over and decide whether or not he can go without the $5.00 for two entire weeks.
• The modeler should formulate a polite statement informing the borrower that he needs some time (an hour) to think it over (use the pat phrase).
• (time passes)The modeler decides whether he will or will not need the money and answers his friend with a "YES" or "NO" an hour later.

It is important not to use this as a way of avoiding accepting or refusing to lend anything. If in doubt, play it safe and say "NO", don't lend.

Roleplay Vignettes

1. Your brother asks $10.00 to put some gas in his car and promises to pay you back in two weeks. You want to take some time and think it over and maybe double-check whether or not you will need this money to pay some bills before the end of the month.
1. Ask yourself the four questions, answering "YES" to all but #3.
2. Formulate a "stall," informing your brother that you need some time (one hour) to think it over and check whether or not you will be needing the money (use one of the pat phrases)
2. A close friend comes over to your apartment and asks to borrow $5.00 until next week. You only have $7.00 left to last you until a week you need some time to figure out if you'll need the $5.00 during the next week.
1. Ask yourself the four questions, answering "YES" to all but #3.
2. Formulate a "stall" informing your close friend that you need fifteen minutes to think it over and check whether or not you will be needing the money (use one of the pat phrases)

Individualize roleplay vignettes whenever possible by substituting objects or situations with those brought up by participants during previous discussions.

🗯️ Discussion/Feedback

The facilitator is to observe closely the participants' actions and reactions during the roleplay and provide feedback on their participation The facilitator should not hesitate to stop the role-play if the participants are rehearsing incorrectly or are in need of guidance. The role-play situations must be as pleasant and rewarding as possible. Social praise and compliments should be frequently used.

📜 Session Summary

Elicit from the participants the main points of the session and review

1. The Rights of a Lender
• Right to refuse to lend
• Right to impose conditions on the loan
• Right to think it over and ask for advice
2. The Rules of Lending (FOUR Questions) Pat Phrases
• Do I know the person? "Sorry I don't lend to people I don't know well."
• Is it $10.00 or less?  "Sorry, I never lend that much money to anyone"
• Can do without this money?  "Sorry I can't lend you the money because I'll be needing it.”
• Can I trust them (Do they owe) "Sorry, I don't lend money to people who still owe me money"
3. Considerations if you do decide to lend (if "YES" to all FOUR Questions)
• make a note (I.O.U.) of the borrower, amount, and agreed time of return
• don't be shy to remind the borrower if he forgets to return your money
• ask for advice or take time to think it over if you're uncertain about lending money