(The Yellow Handshake Circle video highlights these three different types of acquaintances. If necessary, pause after each to discuss before moving on.)
Summary of Story: Neighbors
Sofie tells us about her neighbors, Mr., and Mrs. Parker, in the Yellow Handshake Circle. Sofie explains that she doesn’t know the Parkers well. She occasionally sees them around the neighborhood or when they visit her parents. Sofie has very little in common with them. She knows their names but not much else about them. She is polite to them but doesn’t have strong feelings. Sofie understands that the Parkers are friends of her parents but are only acquaintances of Sofie. She knows she can rely on them in an emergency but never hugs them.
Teachers Note
The Yellow Handshake Circle usually includes those peers and adults whose names are known. A handshake is the customary greeting when you are first introduced by name to adults and often, upon greeting them after an absence. The term, acquaintance, is likely new to your students. Sofie defines acquaintances in the video as, “people you know because you’ve met them, maybe even many times, but are not people you are close with.”
Program Aims
- To establish the degree of intimacy associated with the Yellow Handshake Circle using neighbors, teachers, and classmates as examples of acquaintance relationships.
Methods
Step 1: Review the Green Far-Away Hug Circle by replaying the video vignette and/or using the reminders and cues necessary:
- Who is the most important person in your world of CIRCLES?
- What Circle are you in?
- What kind of touch, talk, and trust is acceptable with a person in your Green Far-Away Hug Circle who is your relative (cousin, aunt, uncle etc.)?
Step 2: Inform students today they will learn about a new circle: the Yellow Handshake Circle. Model the sign for the Yellow Circle. Indicate the yellow circle on the wall-mounted circles graph. You may wish to define acquaintances as Sofie does, as, “people you know because you’ve met them, maybe even many times, but are not people you are close with.” Let’s see how Sofie interacts with neighbor acquaintances in her Yellow Handshake Circle.
Step 3: Show the video vignette “My Neighbors” and pause for discussion when the story concludes. Ask:
- Who was in Sofie’s Yellow Handshake Circle?
- How does Sofie feel about her neighbors in the Yellow Handshake Circle?
- How does she decide who is in her Yellow Handshake Circle?
Elicit the Deciding Factors from students, either from their memory, by replaying the video vignette or helping younger students name them. Sofie only sees the Parkers when they visit her parents or around the neighborhood.
- The Parkers both know Sofie’s parents. They are friends with her parents but other than that, they have few common bonds.
- Sofie’s parents tell her the Parkers are nice, but Sofie doesn’t know much about them.
- Sofie doesn’t have strong feelings about the Parkers, but she smiles and is polite to them.
- Sofie is treated with respect by the Parkers; this is mutual.
- Sofie’s parents told her she could rely on the Parkers in an emergency.
Step 4: The Teacher uses the laminated - figural icons with the wall-mounted CIRCLES graph to demonstrate the placement of the new characters on the CIRCLES graph. Reinforce the distance between the Purple Private “me” space and those individuals in whichever circle relationship is being exemplified. Place Sophie’s neighbors on the graph. In this example, the yellow circle.
Step 5: Ask the students if they have neighbors like Sofie’s neighbors. Some neighborhoods are more stable than others and the students may not know any of their neighbors. Some may share a common hallway and see each other often. It is up to the student’s parents to suggest which neighbors are “handshake-worthy”.
Step 6: Distribute personal CIRCLES graphs and crayons or markers; instruct children to locate their Yellow Handshake Circle and color it. Then, teachers should assist students in personalizing their Yellow Handshake Circle by using the Peel n’ Stick icons (or photos from home) that best represent their neighbors as belonging in their Yellow Handshake Circle.
Step 7: Tell students, or elicit from students, if they are able, the following information about touch, talk, and trust with neighbors in their Yellow Handshake Circle:
- Touch - Sofie shakes hands with her neighbors only when she greets them.
- Touch is limited to hands: Handshakes, upon being introduced; (possibly fist bumps or high-fives) and waves or smiles.
- Sofie never hugs the neighbors in her Yellow Handshake Circle, even if she sees someone else hugging them.
- Talk - Sofie does not get personal but makes polite small talk with her neighbors and is respectful.
- Trust - Sofie has limited trust for her neighbors because she hardly knows them, even though she knows their names.
- Sofie trusts only those neighbors designated by her parents.
For Greater Depth (Optional)
- Roleplay greeting neighbors at different places in your neighborhood. For example, on a walk, at the park, or the grocery store. The children can actively role play if able, or you can demonstrate using puppets or dolls.
- Discuss with the children that neighbors in their Yellow Handshake Circle are probably people they can rely on in an emergency (as designated by their parent or guardians).
Summary
Replay the video vignette as needed to reinforce students’ skill development. Tell students that when they have neighbors in their Yellow Handshake Circle, that relationship may include a range of touch, talk, and trust. We never hug the people in our Yellow Handshake Circle, and we do not tell them intimate details about ourselves.
Support Activities
- Draw a mock-up map of your student’s neighborhoods. With the help of their parents, ask them to list their neighbors on the map. They don’t need to know their names.
- Create a dramatic play area in your classroom that mimics commonplace areas where children may see neighbors or acquaintances to practice role-playing. A grocery store is a great option.
Continuation of Story: My Teachers & My Classmates
Sofie tells us about her teachers, Mrs. Milton, and Ms. Hirsch, who are acquaintances in her Yellow Handshake Circle. Sofie explains that these teachers are acquaintances because she has only known them for a short time. School is the only common bond she has with them. She explains that she was introduced to them and knows their names. She does not know anything personal about them. Sofie understands that although she likes the teachers, she doesn’t socialize with them. She tells us that the neighbors and teachers in her Yellow Handshake Circle are adults (grown-ups) but that there are also kids about her own age in her Yellow Handshake Circle. Some are in her classroom and some she recognizes from the playground.
Teacher’s Note:
The Yellow Handshake Circle usually includes those peers and adults whose names are known. A handshake is the customary greeting when you are first introduced by name to others and upon greeting people after an absence. Teachers typically belong in the Yellow Handshake Circle because they are paid to spend time with a child. However, younger children, especially those in preschool, often form close bonds with their teachers and primary caregivers, like a nanny they see daily. Therefore, in some cases, a child may include their teacher in the Green Far-Away Hug Circle or even in their Blue Hug Circle, depending on the relationship (i.e., a live-in caregiver). For preschool students, the teachers they may choose for their Yellow Handshake circle are more likely to be people like a dance teacher they see once a week or a soccer coach they see a few times a week.
Similar age acquaintanceship peers may present some confusion for your students. Some will want to label anybody whose names they know as friends rather than acquaintances. Help students become aware that they are free to like acquaintances and acquaintances may like them, but “likability” does not equal friendship. Take this opportunity to help students increase their awareness of what constitutes a friend (i.e., similar age, visits outside of school, shared interests, and activities; developed over time). Over time, acquaintances of similar ages may become friends in the Green Far-Away Hug Circle. Still, for right now, it is crucial to help young learners distinguish between friendship and simply knowing someone’s name and recognizing them.
Finally, remind students that they don’t have to like or be liked by everyone in the Yellow Handshake Circle, but that politeness is important.
Program Aims
- To establish the degree of intimacy associated with the Yellow Handshake Circle using teachers and kids at school as examples of acquaintance relationships
Methods
Step 1: Watch the “Neighbors” part of the Yellow Handshake Circle Video again, if necessary. Remind students of Sofie’s definition of acquaintances as, “people you know because you’ve met them, maybe even many times, but are not people you are close with.” Ask:
- Who is the most important person in your world of CIRCLES?
- What kind of touch, talk, and trust is acceptable with a person in your Yellow Handshake Circle that is an acquaintance?
- Who are the neighbors in your Yellow Handshake Circle?
Step 2: Inform students that now they will learn about other people who belong in their Yellow Handshake Circle: Teachers, coaches, and instructors. Indicate the yellow circle on the wall-mounted circles graph. They will learn that most of the kids at school are acquaintances too, in their Yellow Handshake Circle. Model the sign for the Yellow Handshake Circle as necessary.
Step 3: Continue watching the Yellow Handshake Video. Pause at the end and ask:
- Who else was in Sofie’s Yellow Handshake Circle?
- What kind of touch, talk, and trust is acceptable with teachers and child acquaintances in your Yellow Handshake Circle?
- How does she decide who is in her Yellow Handshake Circle?
Elicit the Deciding factors from students, either from their memory, by replaying the video vignette or helping younger students name them. Place Sophie’s teachers/classmates on the graph.
- Sofie knows her teacher only from school.
- Sofie only sees her teacher on school days.
- Sofie’s school program is her common bond with the teachers.
- Sofie doesn’t know much personal information about the teachers, even though she knows their names.
- Sofie is polite to the teachers.
- She knows she can trust her teachers in an emergency.
- Sofie respects their expertise in school matters.
- Sofie doesn’t know much personal information about her classmates, even though she knows their names.
- Sofie is polite to her classmates but doesn’t express her private emotions to them.
- Sofie only sees most of the kids from schools on school days (not on weekends and not in her home or theirs.
- She is polite and friendly with kid acquaintances, but they are not friends.
Step 4: The Teacher uses the laminated-figural icons with the wall-mounted CIRCLES graph to demonstrate the placement of the new characters on the CIRCLES graph (teachers, classmates) Reinforce the distance between the Purple Private “me” space and those individuals in whichever circle relationship is being exemplified. In this example, the yellow circle.
Step 5: Ask the students what types of teachers (instructors, coaches, tutors etc.) might belong in this group. You can use photos to help elicit responses.
Step 6: Distribute personal CIRCLES graphs and crayons or markers - instruct children to locate their Yellow Handshake Circle and color it. Then, teachers should assist students in personalizing their Yellow Handshake Circle by using the Peel n’ Stick icons (or photos from home) that best represent their teachers and age-peer acquaintances as belonging in their Yellow Handshake Circle.
Step 7: Tell students, or elicit from students, if they are able, the following information about touch, talk, and trust with teachers in their Yellow Handshake Circle:
- Touch - Sofie shakes hands with her teachers and other adult acquaintances when she is first introduced to them.
- Touch is limited to hands.
- After she’s met them, waving, smiling, and nodding the head, are other ways to greet adult acquaintances and teachers in the Yellow Handshake Circle.
- Fist bumps or high-fives are ways of greeting coaches and kid acquaintances.
- Talk - Sofie does not get personal with teachers but participates in classroom discussion and is respectful.
- Trust - Sofie trusts that she can count on her teachers in an emergency.
Summary
Replay the video vignette as needed to reinforce students’ skill development. Remind students that the people in our Yellow Handshake Circle are usually familiar, and that although we see them often, maybe every day, they are not our close friends. Because of that, our touch, talk and trust is limited.
For Greater Depth (Optional)
- Roleplay greeting teachers, peers, and classmates when you arrive at school.
- Roleplay asking a classmate for help or to play with you.
- Have students pretend that there is a new student in the class and practice how they would introduce themselves.
Consider This
CIRCLES teaches specific behaviors (levels of touch, talk, and trust) dictated by an individual’s circle relationship with another person. However, not everyone wants to shake hands, even if they are accurately placed in the correct circle. For example, someone may not want to shake hands today or be touched in any way, even if they did at another time. An individual’s purple-private thoughts and feelings may support a desire for closeness at one time but not another. Let students know that this is normal, OK, and important to notice. Don’t force a handshake, hug, or touch if you are not interested or the other person isn’t interested.
Youthful acquaintances (even strangers) may be very friendly, smile, or be polite as they interact with your students, but friendliness does not equal friendship. This can confuse students with cognitive challenges during their interactions with engaging peers and friendly individuals in their everyday lives. Help them learn that a friend is someone you build a relationship with over time guided by the Deciding Factors outlined earlier. Friendliness suggests only the possibility of friendship, following CIRCLES rules support relationship-building, leading to actual friendship.