Summary of Story
Sofie tells us about the people in her Blue Big Hug Circle. These are the family members who live with her: her mother, father, brother, and grandmother. She tells us that her dog, Pancake, is also in her Blue Big Hug Circle. She says that some people might choose to put their very, very best friend in this circle too.
Sofie explains that the Blue Big Hug Circle is for the people you love the most. She says she loves and touches the people in this circle, but not in a romantic way. She confides in and gets support from her mother about being teased at school. She says she can talk to her mom about anything and that the people in her Blue Big Hug Circle are there to help and love her.
Sofie gives examples of the people who might be in someone’s Blue Big Hug Circle. These can be parents, grandparents, foster parents, stepparents, siblings, or other caretakers (aunts, uncles, babysitters, nannies, etc.) that you live with and trust. Furry friends and best friends might also be in one’s Blue Big Hug Circle.
Teacher’s Note
Typically, students populate the Blue Big Hug Circle with their nuclear family members. However, the individuals in your class may come from a wide variety of living situations or may have parents who are deceased or absent. As a result, some may not choose to include nuclear family members or may include very close family members who do not live with them in the Blue Big Hug Circle.
In some families, step, foster parents, or others represent this degree of closeness for an individual. Children at the preschool level may also consider their teacher, nanny, or other caregivers in this circle, as it is common for young children to be emotionally close to their teachers and caregivers and include them in the full trust circle.
Remember that these loving feelings are not romantic or sexual and that sexual contact is never permitted among family members, nor is it appropriate for young children.
Program Aim
- To establish the degree of intimacy, as expressed in physical closeness, associated with the Blue Big Hug Circle. Use the family (being sensitive to the ways “family” may vary by student) as an example of a close, loving relationship.
Methods
Step 1: Review the items from the evaluation section of “All About Me,” replaying the video vignette and using reminders and cues as necessary:
- Who is the most important person in your world of CIRCLES?
- What circle are you in? (Point to the Purple Private Circle on the graph)
Step 2: Inform students that today they will learn about the Blue Big Hug Circle. Indicate the Blue Big Hug Circle on the wall-mounted Circles graph. Model the sign for the Blue Big Hug Circle.
Step 3: Show the video vignette “My Family.” After the video, pause for discussion. Start by reviewing the members of Sofie’s Blue Big Hug Circle. Ask:
- Who was in Sofie’s Blue Big Hug Circle?
- How does Sofie feel about the people in her Blue Big Hug Circle?
How does she decide who is in her Blue Big Hug Circle?
Step 4: Elicit the Deciding Factors from students, either from their memory, by replaying the video vignette or helping younger students name them. Refer to the Blue Hug Circle on the wall-mounted Circles graph and say each factor on the list. Choose laminated icons to represent Sofie’s family members and place them in the Blue Big Hug Circle. The People in Sofie’s Blue Big Hug Circle are:
- Her family: mother, father, and brother that live with her.
- Family members Sofie sees every day.
- Family members that Sofie has special time with.
- People Sofie loves very much.
- People who take care of Sofie.
- People Sofie trusts.
Step 5: (Before this lesson, send home the family letter at the end of this section soliciting photographs of family members the children might consider part of their Blue Big Hug Circle. Remind parents and guardians that their input is what will make this curriculum meaningful to the student.)
Distribute personal CIRCLES graphs, markers/crayons/colored pencils, and assist children in coloring their blue circles. Teachers should work with students to identify which circle surrounds the Purple Private Circle and assist them in coloring it blue as needed.
Reassure students that all families are different. However, the overall emotional tone of a family is loving and nurturing. The love between family members is expressed through touch, talk, and trust. The people we feel the safest with are those we place in the Blue Big Hug Circle.
Assist students in personalizing the Blue Big Hug Circle by using their photographs or the Peel n’ Stick icons that best represent their family members or others identified as belonging in the Blue Hug Circle.
There may be children in your classroom who are non-verbal or are unable to color, paint, use scissors, or engage in some of the activities below. In most cases, adaptations have been included as suggested. However, it is unlikely we have covered every developmental situation. Therefore, please modify activities as needed based on the individual student’s needs and capabilities.
For Greater Depth (Optional)
- Roleplay is an excellent way for young children to act out emotions and feelings. Using puppets or people figurines to act out the following scenarios:
- Greeting a family member when they pick them up from school.
- Seeing a parent after they were away on a trip.
- Saying goodnight at bedtime.
- Seeing their best friend when they get to school in the morning.
- Pass out stuffed animals or dolls, one for each child, and have them demonstrate, with the toy, the sign for the Blue Big Hug Circle. Discuss the closeness that is involved in a Blue Hug relationship.
Emphasize that even if someone close to them in their Blue Big Hug Circle makes them feel uncomfortable, they can say no if they don’t want to be touched. And, just as you may not want to be touched at times, other people may not want you to touch or kiss them either. And, if a touch or talk makes them feel uncomfortable, sad, or angry, they should tell another adult in their Blue Big Hug Circle or their teacher.
Summary
Replay the video vignette as needed to reinforce students’ skill development. Tell students that when they have family members in their Blue Big Hug Circle, the relationship includes a full range of touch, talk, and trust, but never touch or talk that makes them feel uncomfortable.
Letter to Families about Completing the Blue Big Hug Circle Chart
Dear Families,
As you know, your child is learning about appropriate relationship boundaries through the Circles© Intimacy & Relationships curriculum. We will soon introduce the Blue Big Hug Circle, which includes a child’s family they live with, are emotionally close to, and those they consider their most trusted people.
The Blue Big Hug Circle is the second concentric circle surrounding the Purple Private Circle. It includes the people closest to the self physically and emotionally. Typically, it would be the nuclear family, but it may also include grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins living with them. In addition, it may include stepparents, foster parents, adoptive parents, their pet, or even their nanny, babysitter, or childcare teacher.
To complete an activity that helps the children identify who goes into their Blue Big Hug Circle, we ask you to send photographs of the people your child lives with or has daily, close contact with and would consider someone they fully trust.
You can print photos and bring them in or email them to use @ (insert school or teacher email). Please label photos if possible so that we can help children in naming the members of their Blue Big Hug Circle.
We appreciate your help with this step in teaching your child about their Blue Big Hug Circle!
Sincerely,