Part 1: Relationships – The Blue Hug Circle Disc 1, Story 3
“Family & Sweetheart” (Sweetheart)
Synopsis of the Story
In this story Faith tells about her boyfriend Scott and the social activities that they mutually enjoy: hiking, talking by the lake, Frisbee, and time on the phone. These are activities that take place outside of the school or work environment. She also tells of the mutual romantic activities that she and Scott enjoy together such as: hugging and kissing, talking about their love for each other and sharing their hopes and dreams.
Faith talks about the process and the time involved in getting to know and trust Scott to this extent. They have a lot in common and enjoy both romantic time together and physical closeness, but they enjoy doing fun activities together as well.
Making Your Point
This is the story where Faith demonstrates the kind of relationship that constitutes a loving sweetheart relationship. The kinds of touch, talk, and trust that Faith shares with Scott she does not share with anyone else. It is a clear-cut relationship and no lines are blurred by doubt. Despite changes in situations over time, the relationship is constant.
Point out to students that close sweetheart relationships develop over a long period of time and do not change frequently once they are established. Although each person is very caring and loving toward the other, each person still maintains his or her autonomy, friends and personality. Even though Faith and Scott spend time together they still have time for themselves and for other friendships and activities.
Remind students that this is an adult relationship and not one for children.
Key Objectives
- To establish the degree of intimacy associated with the Blue Hug Circle, Sweetheart Spot, using the boyfriend as an example
- To illustrate the process of developing this kind of adult romantic relationship over time.
- To explore the balance between personal autonomy and a mutual romantic relationship.
- To examine the qualities that are important in choosing a sweetheart.
Sequential Process
Step 1:
Teacher will begin by reviewing the past session: replaying the video from the previous meeting, stressing the most important points and eliciting answers and comment from participants.
Step 2:
Inform participants that today they will learn about the Sweetheart Spot within the Blue Hug Circle.
Step 3:
Show Disc 1, Story 2: “Family and Sweetheart”, pausing when the story is concluded.
Step 4:
Elicit the following information from the participants, replaying the video if desired or needed:
- Faith places her boyfriend Scott in the Sweetheart Spot in the Blue Hug Circle.
- Faith compares and contrasts this kind of Blue Hug relationship with the relationship she has with her family.
- Faith discusses the meaning of mutuality in a romantic relationship.
- Faith outlines the common activities that both she and Scott enjoy together as well as the romantic activities that are permissible.
- Faith and Scott agree to be sweethearts to avoid confusion.
- Help participants recognize that not everyone has this kind of relationship or wants one right now or ever.
Step 5:
Help participants to define or review some important vocabulary words by using the word in a sentence, looking up the word in a dictionary or from the context of the story.
- Sweetheart
- Love
- Romantic
- Comfortable
- Mutual
- Adult
- Qualities
- Autonomy
- Personality
Step 6:
Elicit from students the degree of touch, talk, and trust that Faith and her sweetheart Scott demonstrate in this circle:
Touch: Sweethearts can give each other close and romantic hugs and kisses, when they both want to and when they have sufficient privacy for that activity. More intimate sexual touching may be part of an adult sweetheart relationship as well.
Talk: Sweethearts can talk openly and freely about intimate thoughts and sexual feelings and share romantic hopes and dreams. They solve problems within their relationship, sometimes with support from another trusted adult. Sweethearts learn to enjoy the assets of the other person and learn to be accepting of the other person’s shortcomings, so long as they are not harmful.
Trust: Sweethearts can trust each other to be respectful, not hurt each other on purpose and not betray confidences. This trust is earned over a long period of time, not just on one occasion.
Step 7:
Invite participants to select icons to place on the wall graph for the Sweetheart Spot, if appropriate. Ask participants to describe the qualities that are desirable in a sweetheart, real or imaginary.
Step 8:
Tell participants that now is their chance to color their Sweetheart Spot with pink in the Blue Hug Circle on their personal graph. Ask participants to think about whether or not they have this kind of relationship at present.
Step 9:
Have participants place a peel ‘n stick icon on the Sweetheart spot on their personal graph to represent a sweetheart, if they have one, or add a question mark to the sweetheart spot, if they do not have a current sweetheart.
Step 10:
The video suggests that this is a good time to pause for discussion with your group. Faith introduces the following terms in this video:
- Romantic close hugs
- Romantic and open talk
- Complete trust
Step 11:
Instruct participants to open their CIRCLES Journal to the story titled, “Family and Sweetheart”. Allow time for participants to complete their journaling stories for this lesson.
Step 12:
Hand out the reproducible worksheet at the end of this lesson for students to complete in class or for homework.
Journal Entry - “Sweetheart”
Write a paragraph that tells your own story about your sweetheart in the Blue Hug Circle, if you have one. Make up a story if you do not have a sweetheart. Include the following information in your story:
- Name and color of the CIRCLE that a sweetheart is in
- Name of your sweetheart, if you have one
- Write how you spend time with your sweetheart
- Write about the qualities you like about your sweetheart
- Write about how your sweetheart treats you
- What is appropriate to share/discuss on social media with (about) your sweetheart?
Support Activity for “Family & Sweetheart” (Sweetheart)
Directions: Complete the following form to plan a date with a person that you are romantically interested in getting to know better.
Things you need to know if you want to date someone:
