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Being with Teachers (Part 2, Disc #3) - Red to Yellow

Summary of Story #3

Sofia recounts the process by which Mr. Rodriguez, the landscape job coach, moved from Sofia’s Red Total Stranger Space through many of the circles to his current position in the Yellow Handshake Circle. Sofia explains that as she got to know Mr. Rodriguez, saw him in class and learned about landscaping, she developed feelings of respect for his teaching abilities. She achieved a Yellow Handshake Circle relationship when she and Mr. Rodriguez agreed that a handshake is as close as their relationship will progress.

Teacher’s Note

There are many adult authority figures in the lives of our students: teachers, counselors, direct service workers, social workers, and other known practitioners. There is a temptation for students to confuse friendliness with friendships. This is a good time to remind the students that liking an acquaintance, and vice versa, is not the same as a friendship in the Green Far Away Hug Circle.

Program Aims

  • To show how a relationship can change from stranger to acquaintance.
  • To create opportunities to practice social skills with acquaintances.

Methods

Step 1

Review the items from the conclusion section of “Becoming Friends” replaying the video vignette and using the reminders and cues as necessary.

  • Who is the most important person in your world of CIRCLES? Does that ever change?
  • Show the sign and indicate the Green Far Away Hug Circle.
  • Describe the changes in touch, talk, and trust that occur as a person moves from the Red Total Stranger Space to the Green Far Away Hug Circle.

Step 2

Inform students that today they will see a story about how a person who was in Sofia’s Red Total Stranger Space moved through her circles to become an acquaintance in the Yellow Handshake Circle.

Step 3

Show the video vignette “Being With Teachers” and pause for discussion when the story concludes.

Step 4

Ask students to recount from memory, or by referring to the video vignette, what the events of the story were. Use laminated figural icons to trace the development of this relationship and to show how the character progresses through the world of CIRCLES.

Step 5

Remind students that relationships can and do change over time when both people want a closer relationship. This is called mutuality.

Step 6

Refer to the CIRCLES graph that is mounted in a convenient location. Using the large, laminated figural icons and with input from your students, create a story that parallels the changes in the story they have just seen.

Step 7

Tell the students that now they can use their knowledge of relationships to tell how a stranger changed an acquaintance. Ask students to show how a person in their world of CIRCLES started out as a stranger and eventually became an acquaintance in the Yellow Handshake Circle. Students can use the laminated icons on the CIRCLES graph or practice by using the Circles Social Skills Utility™. This can be done as a guided writing experience.

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Note: Allow students some latitude as to who their acquaintances are, using mutual knowledge by the students and the acquaintance of each other’s names. Acquaintances are not usually people who socialize with the students and may be liked or not liked by the student. Reiterate that Mr. Rodriguez skipped the Red Stranger Circle, and why (because that circle is reserved for community helpers/health workers only and Mr. Rodriguez never had a community helper relationship with Sofia).

Step 8

Help students to process the level of touch, talk, and trust, telling how they change from circle to circle:

  • Touch - When Sofia got to know Mr. Rodriguez well enough to know his name, they both felt comfortable touching hands only at greeting. Sofia and Mr. Rodriguez both agreed that a handshake at greeting was part of their relationship.
  • Talk - Sofia’s talk with Mr. Rodriguez changed over time. At first, she did not talk to Mr. Rodriguez at all but after she was introduced, they talked about subjects that were not personal.
  • Trust - Sofia’s trust in Mr. Rodriguez changed over time. After Sofia got to know Mr. Rodriguez in class, she was able to trust Mr. Rodriguez in a limited way.

Step 9

Affirm with your students that relationships can change. Sofia’s relationship with Mr. Rodriguez changed over time. Most of the time people start out as strangers. As they get to know each other, they move into circles that are closer to the student in the Purple Private Circle. The Yellow Handshake Circle was as close as Sofia would ever be with Mr. Rodriguez.

For Greater Depth

Elicit the following information from students, either from their memory or by replaying the action video vignette:

  • Sofia saw Mr. Rodriguez from time to time at school and in class and waved.
  • After seeing him around school, Sofia was introduced to Mr. Rodriguez by school personnel which moved him from the Orange Wave Circle to a Yellow Handshake Circle relationship.
  • When Sofia started in the landscaping class she had at least one thing in common with Mr. Rodriguez.
  • Sofia did not get to know anything personal about Mr. Rodriguez.
  • Sofia increased her respect for Mr. Rodriguez as she spent time in his class. She got to like him only as a teacher.

Conclusion

Replay the video vignette as needed to remind students of the development of the kind of touch, talk, and trust that constitutes a Yellow Handshake Circle relationship. Remind the students that in order to have a Yellow Handshake Circle relationship, they need to:

  • Be introduced to the person.
  • Know the person’s name.
  • Might like each other, or not.
  • Do not know personal information about each other.
  • Treat the person with respect.
  • Feel safe in a specified place with the person.

Support Activities

  1. Use discussion and role playing in conjunction with the laminated figural icons and CIRCLES graph to explore the following aspects of behavior that are useful with acquaintances:
    • What are the roles that acquaintances play in our lives at school, work, and in the neighborhood?
    • Introduce someone you know to an acquaintance.
    • Roleplay how you act if you met an acquaintance while on the bus, at a picnic, and at the dentist’s office.
    • Who are the acquaintances that are also authority figures (i.e., can tell you what to do vs. situational peers)?
  2. Use Stanfield’s First Impressions: Attitude® to review and practice a lighthearted view of introductions. Visit www.stanfield.com to learn more.

See Part 2, Disk #4 “Cyberspace Rules” for Acquaintance considerations for online safety