2. Autonomy

Notes to the Instructor

In teaching autonomy, you are aiming to give the student a sense of control over themselves. This is the first step in assertive behavior as well as helping students to achieve a sense of control over their lives and eventual independence. Achieving the ability to make choices as a separate person must be developed prior to having a meaningful, close relationship outside the family.

Interpretation

1. Purple Private Circle/Space
• Developing autonomy is the same as developing control over yourself. It includes making decisions about relationships, career, and lifestyle.
• It also includes self-motivation, self-control, and self-direction.
• You need to know your personal values and what’s important to you in order to make good decisions.
• You can control yourself but cannot control others.
• You decide the closest circle that a person may enter if they agree.
2. Blue Big Hug Circle
• Sometimes you need to share decision-making with people you love and trust. (Supported decision-making can help you see more options.)
• You may greatly value the opinions of the people in your Blue Big Hug Circle as you make your choices, especially if they have earned your trust in the past.
• You need to be able to express yourself and say, “yes” or “no” based on your own strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes.
• You need to understand that you can be different, but not better or worse than the other person in a relationship.
3. Green Far Away Hug Circle
• Accepting the autonomy of your friends allows your friendships to grow.
• Even though you have differences of opinion, you do not dominate your friends and they do not dominate you. This permits the closeness and separateness of the friendship.
• Friends don’t force or coerce you to make decisions that don’t reflect your values.
4. Yellow Handshake Circle
• Acquaintances can influence your decision-making but should not control them.
• Adults respect the decisions that other people make for themselves.
5. Orange Wave Circle
• Children are not toys or dolls. They too have a say in controlling their lives and may only know crying as a way of expressing loss of control.
• You need to respect children.
• Children’s parents help them make decisions.
6. Red Stranger Circle (Community Helpers/Health Workers)
• Some community helpers are experts at decision-making related to their business.
• Counselors and Social Workers help you make decisions about your life. It’s their business to guide you, but the final decision is yours.
7. Red Total Stranger Space (Total Strangers)
• Total strangers, even those on the internet, should never guide your decision-making.
• The less you know a person, the less influence they have over your life.

Activities

1. Using the CIRCLES graph, have a student stand in front of the Purple Private Space while another student walks toward him/her. Have the first student decide how close the second should come and indicate such with the sign for “STOP.” Reinforce decision and mutuality.
2. Use roleplays to show situations where a decision has no right or wrong answer. For example, choosing chocolate or vanilla ice cream, or a red or blue shirt. Increase complexity and abstraction as needed.
3. The above activity leads naturally to a discussion of how to make a decision that is a good choice for the person making the choice. Reinforce individuality.
4. Set up hypothetical situations that involve saying “yes” and “no.” For example, deciding to accept or refuse an invitation to go to the movies. Practice ways of accepting and refusing requests that are not hurtful to others.
5. Respect the autonomy of others by have the students practice knocking on closed doors or responding with “come in” or “not now.”
6. Discuss politely asking to borrow other people’s personal items and accepting “yes” or “no”.
7. Make a collage of things that the students like. This could be favorite foods, colors, room decor, clothing, activities, or hairstyles. Emphasize that these kinds of preferences are not right or wrong, but merely information about a person. Remind students that their preferences are not better than others nor are other people’s preferences better than theirs.
8. Elicit from students in which places it is permissible to be without clothing.