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Segment 5: Don't Mistake Niceness for Goodness

Objectives

Students will:

  1. Understand why it's important not to mistake a stranger's "niceness" for "goodness."
  2. Understand the difference between being a nice person and being a good person.
  3. Identify behaviors that make a stranger seems nice.
  4. Understand that it takes a long time to trust someone, no matter how nice they may seem.
  5. Identify the negative consequences of mistaking a stranger's "niceness" for "goodness."
  6. Identify personal benefits of recognizing that "niceness" is not "goodness."
  7. Identify behaviors that accompany mistaking a stranger's "niceness" for "goodness."
  8. Identify behaviors that accompany recognizing that "niceness" is not "goodness.'
  9. Model successfully recognizing that "niceness" is not "goodness."

Step 1: Lesson Introduction

Last time, we found out why it's important to guard personal information from a stranger. We learned that if you disclose personal information to a stranger, you could get in trouble. There are other ways to get in trouble with strangers. One of these ways is by mistaking "niceness" for "goodness.'

  • Ask students to discuss the difference between being a nice person and being a good person. Remind students of the difference between friendliness and friendship. Emphasize that many strangers may seem nice, or friendly. But this doesn't mean they're a good person鈥攖hat is, someone who won't try to get us in trouble.
  • Ask students to discuss instances when they or someone they knew got in trouble by mistaking "niceness" for "goodness."
  • Tell students that in today's video, we're going to see why it's important to recognize that "niceness" is not "goodness."

鈻讹笍 Show the video.

鈴革笍 Stop the video when the "Pause for Discussion" title appears on the screen.

Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1

What did Meika do that was NotSmart?

She mistakes "niceness" for "goodness." The stranger seems nice:

  • He's extremely polite and well-mannered
  • His tone of voice and facial expression are very friendly.
  • He says he lives just down the street.
  • He's got two cute little dogs.

He seems harmless in every respect. As a result, Meika doesn't think twice about letting him into her home when he asks for water.

What happened because Meika was NotSmart?

She gets in trouble. The stranger closes the door, grabs Meika and pulls her down.

She's probably going to get raped or murdered.

How could Meika have been PeopleSmart?

Have students discuss how Meika could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation.

Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one-way Meika could have been PeopleSmart.

鈻讹笍 Start the video again.

鈴革笍 Stop the video when the "Pause for Discussion" title appears on the screen.

Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2

How was Meika PeopleSmart this time?

She recognizes that the stranger's niceness doesn't mean he's a good person who can be trusted.

  • When he asks for water for his dogs, she directs him to the nearby park. She walks toward her house.
  • When he asks again, she directs him again to the park, resumes walking, and says goodbye.
  • When he asks yet again (for a drink for himself), she directs him to a drinking fountain just up the street. She says goodbye again, enters the house, and closes the door without looking back.
  • Cordial but firm tone of voice, facial expression, and body language; she means business.

What happened because Meika was PeopleSmart?

The stranger walks away defeated. He may try his tricks with someone else, but he knows he can't fool Meika. She has stayed out of trouble. She's in control of her life.

What can we learn from this?

  • Recognize that "niceness" is not "goodness." Again, strangers may seem nice, or friendly. But this doesn't mean they're a good person - that is, someone who won't try to get us in trouble. Only by knowing someone for a long time can we know whether they're a good person.
  • Again, some strangers will say anything and make up any story and pretend they are nice to convince you that you can trust them and that they are not dangerous. If a stranger tells you something to try to make you do something you don't want to do, don't buy it. Don't trust strangers! Remember, it takes a long time to trust someone, no matter how nice they may seem.
  • Again, never let a stranger into your home, especially when you're home alone.
  • As Meika demonstrated again, you don't have to be mean or nasty in dealing with strangers who may seem suspicious. Just be assertive in a firm, no-nonsense way that lets the stranger know you mean business.
  • Know that you're right in saying no to a stranger and standing firm on your no. Show your conviction in what you say and how you say it. Say no in a way that sends a clear message - don't mess with me.

Step 4: Activities

Invite a law enforcement representative to tell students about famous serial killers and other dangerous criminals who were notoriously "nice" to win the trust of strangers.

Have students create wall charts under two separate headings:

  • "A Nice Person Is. and
  • "A Good Person Is ..."

Based on these charts:

  • Have students pair off and roleplay "being nice."
  • Tells students that there will be no roleplay of "being good." This is because you can't tell from a stranger's behavior whether he/she is a good person. Only by knowing someone for a long time can you know this.

Have students create wall charts listing behaviors that accompany:

  • mistaking "niceness" for "goodness, and
  • recognizing that "niceness" is not "goodness."

Have students roleplay each of these behaviors.

Have students roleplay the NotSmart and PeopleSmart vignettes from the video. After each roleplay, have students discuss how they feel.

Remind students of the earlier discussion of instances when they or someone they knew got in trouble by mistaking a stranger's "niceness" for "goodness." Have students roleplay

  • NotSmart behavior, and
  • PeopleSmart behavior in these situations.

Have students form small groups and create and perform rap songs entitled "You're Nice But You're No Good." Award prizes for each song's performance.

Have students discuss TV shows or movies where a character who seemed nice turned out not to be a good person. How did other characters get in trouble by mistaking this person's "niceness" for "goodness"? Have students roleplay these situations.

Have students identify the negative consequences of mistaking a stranger's "niceness" for "goodness." and personal benefits of recognizing that "niceness" is not "goodness." Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.