Objectives

Students will:

1. Understand why getting along with people is important
2. Define what a friend is
3. Understand why being supportive can help deepen a friendship
4. Identify the negative consequences of not being supportive
5. Identify personal benefits of being supportive
6. Identify behaviors that accompany not being supportive
7. Identify behaviors that accompany being supportive
8. Identify friends who need their support
9. Identify ways they can support these friends
10. Model successfully being model supportive
11. Develop strategies for being more supportive of friends

Step 1: Lesson Introduction

Discuss with students why living independently in the community is important. Ask students why getting along with people is an essential part of living independently in the community. Have students identify friends or acquaintances of theirs. How have these friendships and relationships made their lives happier, richer, and more successful? In what ways have their dealings or relationships with other people in the community made their lives more successful?

Remind students that a friend is someone who really cares about our well-being and our best interests, someone who is always there for us. Emphasize how rare and special a true friend really is. Because of this, we need to treat our friends like gold. We need to do things that will make them want to remain our friends, things that will deepen our friendship and make it stronger. And we certainly want to avoid doing things that will damage our friendship or make a friend not want to be our friend anymore.

Have students discuss instances when:

• Someone they thought was their friend let them down or acted in some way that showed they weren’t really a friend.
• A friend did something that deepened their friendship with this person.

Tell students that one way not to deepen a friendship is by not supporting a friend. Ask students to discuss instances when they needed a helping hand but a friend failed to support them. How did that make students feel? Did it make them want to become better friends with the person? Tell students that in today’s video, we’re going to see why not supporting a friend is a good way not to deepen a friendship.

▶️ Show the video.

⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.

Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1

What did Leah do that was NotSmart?

• She didn’t support Debbie in her time of need. Instead of being sympathetic and sorry that Debbie was laid off, Leah only felt relieved that she still had her job. Her relief and lack of concern came through in her smile, facial expression, and tone of voice. She even toasted her own good luck, which was incredibly insensitive in light of Debbie’s plight.
• She finally asked Debbie if she could help in any way, but her facial expression and tone of voice were insincere. Then she proved her insincerity by coming up with a series of lame excuses for why she couldn’t help Debbie in even the smallest way.
• Hesitant, whiny voice (making up excuses as she went along)
• Shifty, evasive eyes
• Angry gestures
• Blank or scowling facial expression
• When Debbie finally accused Leah of not being her friend, Leah accused Debbie of always thinking only about herself and never about Leah; that is, she accused Debbie of doing exactly what Leah has been demonstrating!

What happened because Leah was NotSmart?

Debbie stomped away in tears. Now that Leah has shown her true colors, Debbie will never want to do anything with her again. Leah blew an ideal opportunity to deepen her friendship with Debbie; instead, she lost Debbie as a friend.

How could Leah have been PeopleSmart?

Have students discuss how Leah could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation. Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one way Leah could have been PeopleSmart.

▶️ Start the video again.

⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.

Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2

How was Leah PeopleSmart this time?

She showed her sympathy, concern, and support right away.

• Concerned facial expression
• Sympathetic, reassuring tone of voice
• Arm around Debbie’s shoulder
• Holding Debbie’s hand
• Comforting words (telling Debbie her layoff wasn’t her fault)

She offered Debbie a place to stay without being asked and lifted her spirits by telling her how fun it will be living together. She told Debbie that we’ll get you through this. In this way, Leah gave Debbie strength and support by letting her know that she wasn’t alone. Then Leah offered to take the rest of the day off to take Debbie to a movie and to get her hair done.

What happened because Leah was PeopleSmart?

She made Debbie see that her situation wasn’t hopeless. Now Debbie is confident that she can survive this crisis, thanks to Leah’s support. The girls hug and say they love each other. By being supportive and coming through for Debbie in a big way, Leah has deepened her friendship with Debbie.

What can we learn from this?

• A friend in need is a friend indeed. When the chips are down, many acquaintances and “fair-weather friends” come up with excuses or disappear. A real friend is someone who sticks with us, supports us, comes through for us when we need help, and is there for us through the good and bad times.
• Friends don’t think only of themselves. They care about the well-being of their friends. When a friend is down, don t just be glad that it’s their problem and not yours. Make it your problem too. Look at your friend, and listen. What kind of support does your friend need? What can you do to help? By supporting your friend and helping in any way you can, you show that you care about their well-being.
• When you really care about someone’s well-being, you don’t feel any sense of loss when you make a sincere effort to support them. You feel you’ve gained because you’ve made your friend feel better.
• The best kind of help and support is the kind that Leah showed - she didn’t even wait for Debbie to ask for help. She saw what Debbie needed and offered her a place to stay without any hesitation.
• When you offer to help or support a friend, be sincere, not phony in the way Leah was the first time. Mean what you say, and back up your words with actions. Otherwise, instead of deepening your friendship, you’ll come across as phony as Leah did the first time, and you may lose your friend just as Leah did.

Step 4: Activities

Have students take turns crowd surfing being held aloft and passed from student to student as the other students form a tight cluster. As students hold the surfer aloft, have them say, We support you, we won’t let you fall. Afterward, have students discuss what it felt like being supportive and being supported.

Have students create wall charts listing verbal and nonverbal behaviors that accompany:

1. supporting a friend, and
2. not supporting a friend.

Have students roleplay each of these behaviors.

Have students roleplay the NotSmart and PeopleSmart vignettes from the video. After each roleplay, have students discuss how they feel.

Remind students of the earlier discussion of instances when they needed a helping hand but a friend failed to support them. Have students roleplay these situations.

Have students:

• Discuss instances when a friend supported them. How did this make them feel?
• Roleplay these situations.

Have students:

• Identify friends who are down or in need of support in some way.
• Identify ways that they can offer support to these friends.
• Keep a journal of how well they follow through in supporting these and other friends.
• Report their experiences to the class. Have the class assist them in learning from their experiences and developing strategies for being more supportive of their friends.

Have students form small groups and create and perform rap songs entitled “I’ll Be There 4U”. Award prizes for each song’s performance.

Have students discuss TV or movie scenes where a character supported or failed to support a friend. Have students roleplay these situations.

Have students identify the negative consequences of not being supportive and the personal benefits of being supportive. Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.