Sexual abuse can be very difficult for a child to prevent if they don’t know what to watch out for. Many abusers are trusted, well-known friends of the child survivor. Rarely is physical force involved with known perpetrators, but more likely, it is the coercive force of tricks, bribes, and threats. Children might be asked to:
- Expose their genitals or be forced to look at the genitals of an older child or adult.
- Pose for nude photos.
- Allow for the handling of their genitals or touching the genitals of an older child or adult.
- Watch or otherwise view pornographic media.
- Submit to oral/genital/anal contact.
- Submit to penetration of the vagina or anus.
As noted above, your role is not that of detective or investigator. There are, however, behaviors that may signal that a student is having difficulty that is suggestive of sexual abuse. While there could be various reasons a young student displays the following signs and behaviors, a referral to the school counselor may be in order. There may be something they need to talk about. These behaviors may include:
- You see changes in a student’s behavior in the classroom: They are quieter, distant, or clingier than they typically are, or they are aggressive or destructive.
- They show knowledge of sexual behavior, and there are sexual themes in their artwork.
- Problems with friends and schoolwork or attendance
- Vague symptoms of illness such as headache or tummy ache.
- Asking vague questions or making vague statements about topics such as secrets, unusual ‘games,’ or adult behaviors.
We know this topic can be difficult to talk about. It's important that teachers feel comfortable with “Child Sexual Abuse: A Solution.” Although we are confident that you will find this program very easy to present and generally non-threatening to teachers, parents, and students, it will likely generate questions. Make time for discussion of concerns from colleagues and parents, which may include such questions as:
- Will prevention programs in the schools spread fear? (Not if you treat this information like we treat other personal safety issues, i.e., look both ways when you cross the street, don’t touch a hot stove, etc.
- Do parents support this sort of program? What are parents' concerns about sexual abuse-prevention education? (Again, present it like any safety program AND allow parents to review the vignettes. We’ve had tremendous parental support for these programs. Clarify that this is not a sex education program. Is there more we should consider in our community? (Religious values, anti-sex education beliefs, conservatism, cultural differences, appropriateness to the student population. Again, none of these preclude safety training, nor do they excuse school personnel from mandated reporting.)
- Do we, as teachers, believe we have a professional along with our legal obligations? (Teachers are directly impacted by sexual abuse survivors. Often, these children have trouble in school. Sometimes, they are disruptive; sometimes, they cannot concentrate, they may suffer a drop in grades, or they may act out sexually.)
By providing concrete suggestions to both parents and children, we can lessen the need for scare tactics. Uninformed, concerned parents and teachers might overemphasize awful abduction or assault incidents. Although these happen, they are far less likely than the more common problems outlined in the vignettes. It's also important to look at the tradeoffs between preparing children to resist abuse and the psychological harm that can result if a child keeps to themself because of shame or ignorance about what to do.