For ease of comprehension, the temperature analogy of "COLD-HOT-COOL" is used in the BeCool program to represent Assertion Theory's Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive styles of responding to intimidating behavior.
We can react to difficult behaviors such as teasing, bullying, anger, and criticism in one of three ways. We can be (1) Passive or COLD, (2) Aggressive or HOT, and(3) Assertive or COOL. Each response has its own style and produces its own set of outcomes.
Passive/Cold Responses
Passive or "COLD" responses to difficult behavior generally involve withdrawal and avoidance. For example, a student might avoid a peer who has been teasing him.
Passive reactions often have the serious drawback of not alleviating the problem behavior. Passive responses may also result in feelings of frustration, anger, helplessness, and sadness and contribute to reduced self-esteem.
Aggressive/Hot Responses
Aggressive or "HOT" responses to difficult behavior often involve loss of temper control and outbursts of anger. For example, a student may “blow up" and yell at a teacher when presented with task demands that exceed his capabilities.
Aggressive responses typically result in negative consequences for the student and may not correct the source of the initial problem.
Assertive/Cool Responses
Assertive or "COOL" responses to difficult behavior can be characterized as calm, reflective or "thought out. ” A COOL response can be anything from a non-responsive demeanor (in the presence of bullies) to direct statements of feelings and desires related to the problem behavior. For example, a possible response might be, “Please don't tease me about my weight. It hurts my feelings. If you don't stop, it's going to hurt our friendship. I don't want to lose you as a friend. ”
Assertive responses have the benefits of making expectations clear, maintaining or improving self-esteem, and often reducing unwanted behavior.