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Teasing: The HOT Response

The HOT (Aggressive) Response to Teasing

Aggressive or "HOT" responses to teasing typically involve tense body language, defensive self-talk, loss of temper control, and verbal or physical hostility. Instead of meeting the problem directly, the aggressive response can be characterized as a hurtful attack in order to dominate and get one's way or defend self-esteem. HOT responses include:

Looking HOT:

Threatening demeanor involves:

  1. Head up.
  2. Glaring stare, too much eye contact.
  3. Tense posture, clenched fists, tight muscles.
  4. Angry facial expression.

Thinking HOT:

"Other-blaming Perceiving Style" with statements like:

  1. "It's all their fault."
  2. "If I don't fight back, they'll tease me more."
  3. "They'll think I'm a sissy if I don't fight back."
  4. "I'm not good if I don't fight back."
  5. "They're trying to hurt my feelings."
  6. "Go ahead, make my day. I'll get even.”
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(See “Appendix” for full page version of icons for use in the classroom.)

Acting HOT:

Behavior that attacks, belittles, subjects, controls or defeats someone, such as:

  1. Tease back.
  2. Hostile remarks.
  3. Fight, hit, kick.
  4. Loud voice, yelling.

Drawbacks of the HOT (Aggressive) Response

Drawbacks of aggressive responses to teasing include physical injury to self or others, more teasing or retaliation from the teaser, feelings of guilt and dejection that follow alienating others, as well as punishment from authority figures for public, aggressive "acting out" behavior. The HOT response may produce temporary satisfaction as stress is released. But, this short-term satisfaction is "short-lived" and is counterproductive to reaching the long-term goal.