Teasing: Reaction Summary

Looking COLD

Victim-like demeanor:

1. Head down.
2. No eye contact with teaser.
3. Body bent over.
4. Sad facial expression.

Thinking COLD

"Self-blaming Perceiving Style"

1. "It's my fault. I can't do anything right. I'm not a good person.”
2. "There's nothing I can do about it.”
3. "The teaser is right.”
4. They're jerks (said to self).

Acting COLD

Behavior that gives up runs away, withdraws, becomes depressed:

1. Do or say nothing
2. Mutter or speak with low voice volume
3. Cry.
4. Meek, "I did something wrong.”
5. Withdrawal from and avoidance of teaser.

Looking HOT

Threatening Demeanor:

1. Head up.
2. Glaring stare, too much eye contact.
3. Tense posture, clenched fists, tight muscles.
4. Angry facial expression.

Thinking HOT

“Other-blaming Perceiving Style”:

1. "It's all their fault.”
2. “If I don't fight back, they'll tease me more.”
3. “Others will think I’m a sissy if I don’t fight back.”
4. "I'm not good if I don't fight back."
5. "They're trying to hurt my feelings."
6. "Go ahead, make my day. I’ll get even.”

Acting HOT

Behavior that attacks belittles, subjects, controls or defeats:

1. Tease back.
2. Hostile remarks.
3. Fight, hit, kick.
4. Loud voice, yelling.

Looking COOL

Detached, Nonthreatening Demeanor:

1. Calm down by taking deep breaths, relaxing muscles, etc.
2. Nonaggressive attentive expression, erect posture, facing teaser.
3. Calm voice, good eye contact when speaking and listening.

Thinking COOL

"Non-blaming Perceiving Style":

1. "How can I solve the problem?"
2. "Stay calm. This could happen to anyone.”
3. Decide on course of action-ignore it, Laugh Off, Change the Subject Ask Teaser to Stop.

Acting COOL

Behavior that asserts rights with respect and fairness:

Use the 4-Step Assertion Plan:

1. Tell what you don't like
2. Tell how you feel
3. Tell what you want
4. Get an agreement. If agreements is not accepted, tell what will happen if you can't work things out.