Introduction
Teasing is a common problem among young adolescents. If not managed effectively, teasing may result in aggressive behavior, social withdrawal, and loss of self-esteem. Handled well, teasing can be a minor annoyance, which is easily stopped. This program presents four effective ways in which young adolescents can cope with teasing.
Teasing Module Objectives
This program will teach students to:
- Understand what teasing is.
- Understand why people tease.
- Distinguish "friendly" vs. "unfriendly" teasing.
- Identify characteristics of:
- A Looking COLD (passive, giving up), Thinking COLD, and Acting COLD response to teasing
- A Looking HOT (aggressive, blowing up), Thinking HOT, and Acting HOT response to teasing
- Identify drawbacks of the HOT and COLD responses to teasing.
- Identify the three steps of the COOL response to teasing:
- LOOK COOL: Detached, non-threatening demeanor
- THINK COOL: Non-blaming Perceiving Style
- ACT COOL: Uses "I" statements and asserts rights with respect and fairness
- Ignore/Laugh It Off/Change the Subject - Lesson 1
- Ask to Stop - Lesson 2
- Identify the benefits of the COOL response to teasing.
- Recall and perform the four steps of the COOL response to teasing in roleplay and real situations.
Teasing Defined
Teasing refers to critical statements about a person's actions, appearance or other characteristics made by someone ("teaser") to produce a strong reaction from the person teased (the "teasee") and/or other observers. Examples of teasing include name-calling, put-downs, and laughing at, or commenting on, mistakes or accidents.
Friendly vs. Hurtful Teasing
Friendly teasing refers to teasing which does not offend or hurt the feelings of the person being teased. Friendly teasing may be funny to the teaser as well as the teasee. Hurtful teasing refers to teasing which offends or hurts the feelings of the person being teased.
Reasons for Teasing
People tease for various reasons: (1) To get the attention of the teasee, (2) to make the teasee laugh, (3) to make others laugh, (4) to make the teasee feel angry, sad, or embarrassed, (5) to make the teaser feel superior to the teasee, (6) because the teaser doesn't feel good about him/herself, (7) to give critical feedback in a light or joking manner, (8) because of curiosity or interest mixed with fear and ignorance about what the teasee is like and how he/she will respond. This last reason may explain why teasers sometimes target people who have obvious differences (disabilities, ethnic minorities). Teasers often target less powerful (younger, physically weaker, less verbal, passive) people, possibly because the likelihood of retaliation is lower with these individuals.
Responding to Teasing
The BeCool paradigm uses the metaphor of temperature to represent three basic "styles" of response one person can make to another in a conflict situation. HOT equals aggressive, COLD equals passive, and COOL equals assertive (reflective, calm, and effective).