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Lesson 1: Introduction

Teacher Notes

The first lesson of each of the five BeCool Modules introduces the BeCool process: LOOK COOL, THINK COOL and ACT COOL. If you have purchased more than one module in the BeCool series and have already introduced your students to the BeCool paradigm, you may choose to ignore or spend less time with activities in this lesson related to the process.

Your more capable students will quickly learn the three "styles" of response and the benefits of each. Students with special needs may have more difficulty. For this group, the goal should be that they become aware that criticism is easier to accept if you're COOL and not to take it personally.

When criticism is valid, we recommend first "accepting" the criticism and then "apologizing." For example, if one is criticized for being ill-mannered or unthinking, the appropriate response is to accept the criticism and apologize for the "blunder." If the valid criticism, however, involves something that is not personal, for example, how one performs a task, an apology is not necessary, although some form of feedback ("Oh, I see...") is important. Some people use an apology ("I'm sorry, I see what you mean...") as more feedback than an actual expression of personal regret. The author feels this latter form of apology is never wrong and does have the effect of letting the person giving the criticism know that it's "heard."

In this module, we will not just illustrate "accepting/apologizing" to criticism that is valid (though you may want to talk about this process in class discussions). Instead, this lesson is about "Asking to Clarify" the criticism if it is not understood and then "accepting" the criticism if it's found to be valid or fair.

In order to accept the fair criticism, the person being criticized must:

  1. LOOK COOL: Calm down and practice empathic listening (seeking clarification by listening to the other person, rather than withdrawing or attacking the other person.)
  2. THINK COOL: Use positive self-talk, "Okay, BeCool. What's the problem? I don't understand why the teacher is criticizing me. But if I listen calmly, maybe he/she will tell me something that will help me understand the problem and do the work better. If it doesn't understand, I need to ask for clarification."
  3. ACT COOL: "Ask to Clarify" the criticism: "I don't understand what I did wrong. Would you explain to me what I did wrong?" After clarifying the criticizer's point of view or the criticism, if the criticism is accurate, the person "accepts it," owns up to his/her mistake and offers a way or asks for a suggestion that he/she can prevent making the same mistake again.

Video Synopsis

Vanessa, a budding student chef, made Huevos Rancheros using her grandmother's salsa recipe. After tasting it, her teacher criticizes her for making the salsa too hot. Vanessa has a choice of three different ways to respond to criticism: COLD or passive, HOT or aggressive, and COOL or assertive. She shows us the negative consequences of the COLD and HOT responses and then models the BeCool process of LOOKING COOL, THINKING COOL, and ACTING COOL. She is able to "ask for clarification" of the criticism. Once understanding it, she realizes that the criticism is fair and "accepts" it.

Step 1: Introduction

Before viewing the video, discuss the following. Paraphrase and adapt the content to meet the ability level of your students.

What is criticism?

Ask the students for their definition or you can offer this one...criticism refers to critical statements about a person's actions, appearance or characteristics made by others sometimes in order to have a positive effect, such as a positive change in behavior or an improvement in the relationship.

How many of you have ever been criticized?

Yes, it's something that happens to all of us. (The teacher should share with the class a time when he/she was criticized and describe how it felt. Students can also be asked to share non-embarrassing times they were criticized)

What happens to you when you are criticized?

Ask students to discuss how they feel or react when they are criticized.

Why do you think people criticize other people?

Review reasons listed in "Instructional Content"

Have you thought that criticism was unclear?

The teacher can give examples from her/his experience and ask students to share their experiences.

Video Introduction

Today, we're going to meet Vanessa, a budding student chef, and see how she handles criticism from her cooking class teacher, Ms. Andrews.

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