Criticism: The COLD Response

The COLD (Passive) Response to Another's Criticism

Passive or "COLD" responses to criticism usually involve closed body language, derogatory self-statements, and inactivity. Instead of meeting the problem directly, the passive response is characterized by timid withdrawal, silent suffering, and loss of self-respect. COLD responses include:

Looking COLD

"Victim-like" demeanor involves:

1. Head down, no eye contact with criticizer.
2. Body bent over.
3. Sad facial expression.
4. Timid body movements

Thinking COLD

"Self-blaming Perceiving Style" with statements like:

1. "It's my fault."
2. "I can't do anything right. I'm not a good person."
3. "There's nothing I can do about it."
4. "If I speak up, they'll criticize me more."
5. "I give up, I'm going to quit.

Acting COLD

Behavior that exhibits giving up, running away, withdrawing, or becoming depressed such as:

1. Do or say nothing.
2. Mutter or speak with low voice volume.
3. Stop participating in an activity.

Drawbacks of the COLD (Passive) Response

Drawbacks of passive responses to criticism include:

• Failure to understand and/or do what others want
• Receiving more criticism since the criticizer doesn't know if the criticism will be acted upon
• Failure to try new activities or learn new things
• Negative thoughts about self and
• Feelings of anger, frustration or sadness. Short-term relief may be experienced from avoiding criticism, yet none of the long-term benefits (such as learning new things or feeling good about yourself for handling a situation well) will be experienced.