Criticism: Reaction Summary

Looking COLD

Victim-like demeanor:

1. Head down, with criticizer
2. Body bent over
3. Sad facial expression
4. Timid body movements

Thinking COLD

Self-blaming perceiving style:

1. “It’s my fault”
2. ”I can’t do anything right. I'm not a good person”
3. “There’s nothing I can do about it”
4. “If I speak up, they’ll criticize one more”
5. ‘’I give up, I’m going to quit’’

Acting COLD

1. Behavior that gives up, runs away, withdraws, becomes depressed
2. Do or say nothing.
3. Mutter or speak with low voice volume.
4. Cry.
5. Stop participating in an activity.

Looking HOT

Threatening Demeanor:

1. Head up, glaring stare, too much eye contact.
2. Tense posture, clenched fists, tight muscles.
3. Angry facial expression.

Thinking HOT:

Other-blaming Perceiving Style:

1. "It's all their fault."
2. “If I’m calm, they won’t listen to me.”
3. “If I don't fight back, they’ll criticize me more"
4. "Others will think I’m sissy or worthless if I don't fight back"

Acting HOT:

Behavior that attacks, belittles, subjects, controls or defeats:

1. Age or deny.
2. 2 Criticize back.
3. 5 Yell or make hostile remarks, using intimidating behavior.
4. Quit participating as a form of punishment

Looking COOL:

Non-Threatening Demeanor:

1. Take deep breaths.
2. Stand up or sit straight.
3. Look at the person when listening & taking
4. Happy or neutral facial expression

Thinking COOL:

Non-blaming perceiving style:

1. "What's the problem?’’
2. "Say calm, listen to the criticism”
3. “I’m a good person, it's okay to make mistakes”
4. “Is this valid or criticism" 
5. "What do I need to do to improve”

Acting COOL: