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Self-Anger: The COLD Response

The COLD (Giving up) Response to Self Anger

Giving up or "COLD" responses usually involve helpless appearance, negative self-statements, sadness, withdrawal, or avoidance. COLD responses include:

Looking COLD: The Victim Look

  1. Head down, no eye contact with others.
  2. Body bent over.
  3. Sad facial expression.
  4. Timid body movements.

Thinking COLD:

  1. "This always happens to me."
  2. "There's nothing I can do about it."
  3. "If I speak up, it won't do any good."
(This icon is used throughout the video series. See “
(This icon is used throughout the video series. See “Appendix” for full page version, which can be used in the classroom.)

Acting COLD:

  1. Do or say nothing.
  2. Mutter or speak with low voice volume.
  3. Cry.
  4. Leave or avoid the person.

Drawbacks of the COLD (Giving up) Response

Drawbacks of cold responses to self-anger include misdirected anger, failure to solve the problem, negative thoughts about self, and feelings of anger, frustration, or sadness.