Assertion Theory/Control of Your Behavior
For ease of comprehension, the temperature analogy of "COLD-HOT- COOL" is used in the BeCool program to represent Assertion Theory's "giving up," "blowing up," and "being in control" styles of responding to intimidating behavior.
We can react to difficult behaviors such as teasing, bullying, anger and criticism in one of three ways. We can be: (1) COLD or give up, (2) HOT or blow up, and (3) COOL or be in control. Each response has its own style and produces its own set of outcomes.
Give up/Cold Responses
Giving up or "COLD" responses to difficult behavior generally involve withdrawal and avoidance. For example, a student might avoid a peer who has been teasing him.
Giving up reactions often have the serious drawback of not alleviating the problem behavior. Giving up responses may also result in feelings of frustration, anger, helplessness, sadness and contribute to reduced self-esteem.
Blow-up/Hot Responses
Blowing up or "HOT" responses to difficult behavior often involve loss of temper control and outbursts of anger. For example, a student may "blow-up" and yell at a teacher when presented with task demands that exceed his capabilities.
A blow-up response typically results in negative consequences for the student and may not correct the source of the initial problem.
Being in Control/Cool Responses
Being in control or "COOL" responses to difficult behavior can be characterized as calm, reflective or "thought out." A COOL response can be anything from a non-responsive demeanor (in the presence of bullies) to direct statements of feelings and desires related to the problem behavior. For example, a possible response might be, "Please don't tease me about my haircut. It hurts my feelings. If you don't stop, I won't be your friend."
Being in control responses have the benefits of making expectations clear, maintaining or improving self-esteem, and often reducing the unwanted behavior.