(Replay the video and stop for discussion as noted below) We're going to see the video again. This time we'll stop the video for discussion after we see George and his friends being COLD, HOT, and COOL.
▶️ Start Video. Bullying, Part 2 - "Look The Look" (Confident Attitude)
⏸️ Stop the video after the COLD Response. This is the point at which the person is frozen on the screen opposite the image of a "COLD" Chester, and he has finished discussing the effects of the person being COLD.
The COLD Response
What was the COLD reaction?
George and his friends acted "helpless" by walking with their heads down, their shoulders slouched and nervously twisting their clothes. They avoided eye contact, looked afraid as they approached, and stopped to talk to the bullies in order to try to get to the jungle gym.
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What is helpless?
Someone who does not try to protect themselves. Sometimes people choose to act helpless ("Everybody's picking on me") instead of standing up for what they want. Looking helpless makes bullies want to pick on them.
Did it work? Why not?
No. Showing you're afraid and looking helpless is what the bully wants. George, Kwame and Micah showed their fear by walking timidly, with their heads down and shoulders slouched. When the bullies stopped them, they acted scared and talked to them in a whiny, helpless tone. If you don't act helpless, the bully will probably leave you alone.
How did George and his friends feel?
Scared and helpless.
Teaching The COLD Response Icon
Discuss the use of the image of "Chester sadly leaving" as a symbol of acting COLD. Because the person who is COLD is withdrawn, sad, afraid and feeling helpless, he/she "freezes" and is unable to talk confidently in order to solve the problem. One way to remember what a COLD response looks like, remember the image of "Chester sadly leaving." Click here for more information about the BeCool Teaching Icons.
COLD Review
Bullies look for people who won't try to protect themselves. George and his friends looked and acted scared. Don't help bullies by looking helpless.
▶️ Start video. Resume playing the video. The HOT Response.
⏸️ Stop video. Stop the video after the HOT Response. This is the point at which the person is frozen on the screen opposite the image of a "HOT" Chester and he has finished discussing the effects of the person being HOT.
The HOT Response
What was the HOT reaction?
George, Kwame and Micah acted and talked as tough as the bullies. They challenged them.
Did it work? Did it work any better than the COLD response? Why not?
They may have felt good about themselves for standing up to the bullies at first, but that feeling didn't last long. Talking back to the bullies only caused them to be angry and follow through with hurtful behavior. Also, point out that talking back to a bully in front of his/her friends may force him/her to fight so his/her friends don't tease him/her.
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How did George and his friends feel?
Angry, unhappy, bad, and afraid.
Teaching The HOT Response Icon
Discuss the use of image of "Chester showing his claws as a symbol of acting HOT. The person who is HOT, is angry, hurtful and ready to fight. When people are HOT, they become a "hothead" and easily blow-up. One way to remember what a HOT response looks like is to remember the image of "Chester showing his claws." When you act with anger, it doesn't solve your problem. You are so busy being mad, you can't think about how to solve the problem.
HOT Review
What bullies want is to make fun of someone else so that they can feel better about themselves. They aren't usually looking for a real fight. However, when made angry, especially in groups, the need to "look good" makes them dangerous and/or mean.
▶️ Resume playing the video. The COOL Response.
⏸️ Start play. Play video to end.
The COOL Response
BeCool means: Looking COOL, Thinking COOL, and Acting COOL. Being cool worked well for George, Kwame, and Micah. They got by the bullies without any problems and felt confident and in control.
What was the first thing George did?
- George LOOKS COOL
He paused and calmed himself down, took some deep breaths, and relaxed his body. This helped him think about what to do.
Discuss the use of a "Chester with sunglasses" and the "3-note whistle" as symbols your students can use to remind themselves to act COOL. The person who is COOL is calm, relaxed, stops to think, acts positive, is approachable, and is interested in working things out. The COOL response brings calmness to potentially difficult situations. As "sunglasses" and a "melodic cool whistle" are associated with being in control, the COOL response has the effect of improving peer relations and decreasing student conflicts.
George THINKS COOL
- Before doing anything, George stopped and thought about the different ways he could behave and if they would solve his problem.
Discuss how George modeled the importance of taking the time to think about the outcome of being COLD and HOT before deciding to act COOL Remind students that taking time to think about their choices before acting helps to build confidence and develop a sense of control over their lives.
- Next George used positive self-talk.
"Okay, George, BeCool. I know these jerks-they talk tough, but they never hurt anyone. They're just loudmouths. I can act like I'm scared... Or I can act like a bully, too. No, I'm not going to be COLD, I'm not going to be HOT. I'm going to BeCool. I can ignore the bullies and pretend they're not there."
George and his friends ACT COOL: They "Look The Look"
- Their eyes were straight ahead, they made no eye contact with the bullies.
- Their shoulders were back, standing straight.
- They held their heads up.
- They walked quickly like they had someplace to go.
- They did not stop to talk to the bullies. They "ignored" them.
- They pretended the bullies were not there while quickly walking past them.
Did it work?
Yes, they walked past the bullies. George and his friends got what they wanted by being in control of their behavior. They looked COOL, unafraid, and "like they had somewhere to go." They did not give the bullies what they wanted...a scared "helpless" reaction. They seemed to get by the bullies before the bullies knew what happened.
How do you think George and his friends felt?
Confident and happy. They solved the problem.
A Second Way George and his friends ACTED COOL: "Get Help"
Discuss how George and his friends acted COOL when the bullies continued to threaten them. George went to the playground supervisor, Mr. Thompson, for help. When you are faced with bullies that will not stop picking on you; it's better to "tattle" on them and get help from an authority figure than try to handle it yourself and get hurt.
A Third Way George and his friends ACTED COOL: "Leave"
Discuss how George and his friends acted COOL when they were confronted by bullies who were older, that they didn't know, and who might be dangerous. They left immediately. It's COOL to leave when things look or feel dangerous.
What is dangerous bullying?
Dangerous bullying is bullying likely to result in serious physical injury. Indicators of dangerous bullying include:
- The presence of a weapon or potential weapon (sharp objects, classroom items, fists)
- Extreme anger
- A history of hurting others
- Name-calling or threats to cause injury.
- Use of alcohol and/or drugs or acting strange
How could they tell the bullies might be dangerous?
George and his friends saw that both bullies were older than them and physically looked like they could hurt them. If one was carrying a bat or other weapon and acting strange, these would be additional signs to leave. Also, it's important to pay attention to feelings of being in danger...if you feel you're in danger, you probably are.
Summary
George and his friends used three major defenses against bullies, "ignoring," getting help" and "leaving." With bullies they knew were not dangerous, they "Looked The Look"...held their heads up high, looked straight ahead, kept on walking like they had someplace to go, and "ignored" the bullies. When the bullies continued to threaten them, they went to "get help" from the playground supervisor. When the bullies were unknown to them and might be dangerous, they acted COOL and "left." When you see someone that might want to bother you, remember, just BeCool and "Look The Look," "Get Help," or "Leave."