If criticism is unclear, ask to explain/accept
Teacher Notes
Often a person is confused and not aware of the reason they are being criticized. This lesson is about “asking to explain” the criticism if it is not understood and then “accepting" the criticism if it's found to be true or fair.
In order to accept fair criticism, the person being criticized must:
- LOOK COOL: Stop, relax, take deep breaths, and practice good listening skills (seeking more information by listening to the other person.)
- THINK COOL: Use positive self-talk, “Okay, BeCool. I don't understand why the teacher is criticizing me. But if I listen, maybe he/she will tell me something that will help me understand the problem and do the work better. If I don't understand, I need to ask for more information.
- ACT COOL: “Ask to explain” the criticism: “I don't understand what I did wrong. Would you explain to me what I did wrong?" After explaining the criticizer's point of view or the criticism, if the criticism is fair, the person “accepts it”.
Video Synopsis
Diane is singled out by her gymnastics coach, Steve, to do some work on her gymnastics routine. After watching her, Coach Steve gives some fair criticism but Diane doesn't want to hear it. She responds first in a COLD and then a HOT manner. Then she models the BeCool response and “asks him to explain" when she doesn't understand the criticism. Once understanding it, Diane realizes that the criticism is fair and she “accepts" it. This lets Coach Steve know she was really listening and understanding his criticism
Introduction
Before viewing the video, discuss the following. Adapt the content to meet the ability level of your students.
In the last video, we learned that the best way to respond to criticism that is true or fair, is to “accept it" and then “apologize. ”(Ask if someone can review the last video. ) After thinking about it, Conner realized that his Mom was right in criticizing him for not keeping his promise, and he apologized for it.
But suppose we are criticized and we don't understand what we did wrong? (The teacher should give an example from his/her experience.)
Video Introduction
Today, Chester introduces us to Diane and her gymnastics coach, Steve. After watching Diane doing some gymnastics moves, Coach Steve criticizes her for not doing them right. The problem is, Diane thinks she did exactly what she should be doing, and doesn't understand what she did wrong. Let's see how Diane handles Coach Steve's criticism.
▶️ View Video (without stopping). Criticism, Part 3-“Ask to Explain/Accept"
Discussion
We just saw three ways to react to criticism. We can feel sorry for ourselves and give up. That's called being COLD. We can be angry and blow up. That's called being HOT. Or, we can be COOL. Diane was COOL when she asked Coach Steve to “explain" the criticism when she didn't understand it, and “accepted it" once she understood it was fair.