Objectives
Students will:
- Understand why standing by a friend can help deepen a friendship
- Understand that standing by friends is one way to “be a hero”
- Identify the negative consequences of not standing by a friend
- Identify the personal benefits of standing by a friend
- Model successfully standing by a friend
- Develop strategies for being more successful in standing by friends
Step 1: Lesson Introduction
Last time, we found out why it’s important to keep secrets if you want to deepen a friendship. We learned that if you reveal a friend’s secret, you probably won’t deepen your friendship; in fact, you may even lose the friend. There are other ways not to deepen a friendship. One way is by not standing by your friend.
- Remind students that a friend is someone who is always there for you, in good times and bad, even when you’re in trouble.
- Ask students to discuss instances when a friend didn’t stand by them when they were in trouble. How did that make them feel? Did it make them want to become better friends with the person?
- Tell students that in today’s video, we’re going to see why not standing by a friend is a good way not to deepen a friendship.
▶️ Show the video.
⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.
Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1
What did Wayne do that was NotSmart?
He didn’t stand by his friend. When the bullies attacked Wayne and Justin, all Wayne cared about was saving his own skin. He ran away, leaving Justin outnumbered by the bullies and at their mercy. But he knew they didn’t have any mercy.
What happened because Wayne was NotSmart?
- Justin is going to get a terrible beating.
- By abandoning Justin in his moment of need, Wayne has shown Justin he is not his friend. Justin won’t want to have anything to do with Wayne anymore.
- Justin is sure to tell everyone how Wayne let him down. When they find out, Wayne’s friends will probably not want to have anything to do with him. After all, who would want a self-centered coward like Wayne for a friend?
How could Wayne have been PeopleSmart?
Have students discuss how Wayne could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation. Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one way Wayne could have been PeopleSmart.
▶️ Start the video again.
⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.
Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2
How was Wayne PeopleSmart this time?
He stood by his friend. Even when the bullies gave him a chance to leave, he stayed with Justin. He insisted that they let Justin go too. This showed that he cared about Justin’s well-being and not just his own.
What happened because Wayne was PeopleSmart?
- Wayne managed to get Justin and himself away from the bullies unharmed.
- By standing up to the bullies and standing by Justin, Wayne has shown how much he values his friendship with Justin. Wayne has deepened his friendship with Justin.
- By standing by his friend, Wayne not only earned Justin’s respect; he earned the respect of the bullies. This is why they let him and Justin go. And because they respect Wayne, they probably won’t mess with him or Justin again.
What can we learn from this?
- Remind students of the earlier lesson on loyalty. Emphasize that being loyal is one of the true tests of a friendship. And one of the most important ways you can show your loyalty is by standing by your friend when your friend is in trouble.
- When the going gets tough, “fair-weather friends” care only about saving their own skin. This is when real friends show their true colors - by proving they really care about their friend’s well-being, even if it puts them at risk. When you do this, you are a hero in the truest sense of the word.
- When you stand by your friend, you not only earn your friend’s respect; you earn the respect of everyone else. Most importantly, you earn your own self-respect; you know you’ve done for your friend what you would want your friend to do for you. This peace of mind is perhaps the biggest reward of all.
Step 4: Activities
Have students roleplay the NotSmart and PeopleSmart vignettes from the video. After each roleplay, have students discuss how they feel.
Remind students of the earlier discussion of instances when a friend didn’t stand by them. Have students roleplay these situations. Have students repeat the role plays, this time with the friend standing by them.
Have students:
- Cut out pictures or stories from magazines or newspapers about people who stood by a friend or family member and put themselves at risk in the process.
- Create a wall collage of these pictures or stories.
Have students:
- Discuss their favorite TV or movie heroes.
- Discuss specific scenes where these characters performed heroically by standing up for a friend even at great risk to their own safety.
- Roleplay these situations.
Make the point that the video’s example of being physically in danger is only one instance when a friend needs us to be a hero by standing by them. Any time a friend is down or in trouble or unpopular or in need, that’s when we show we’re true friends and a hero by being there for them and standing by them.
Have students:
- Make a chart listing situations in which friends need their friends to stand by them.
- Role play standing by their friend in these situations.
- Discuss how they feel afterward.
Have students form small groups and create and perform rap songs entitled “I’ll Stand By You” or “I’ll Be Your Hero”. Or, have students create and perform songs entitled “Stand By Your Friend” based on the song “Stand By Your Man”. Award prizes for each song’s performance.
Have students design T-shirts, buttons, drawings, or paintings with the theme “Heroes Stand By Their Friends”.
Have students keep a journal of instances in which they stand by their friends.
- Have them report their experiences to the class.
- Award “I’m a Hero” buttons to students who successfully stand by friends.
- Have the class assist students in learning from their experiences and developing strategies for being more successful in standing by their friends.
Have students identify the negative consequences of not standing by a friend and the personal benefits of standing by a friend. Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.