Objectives
Students will:
- Understand why being loyal can help deepen a friendship.
- Identify the negative consequences of being disloyal.
- Identify personal benefits of being loyal
- Understand that friends don’t respect friends who are disloyal to other friends behind their backs.
- Model successfully being loyal
- Develop strategies for being more loyal to friends.
Step 1: Lesson Introduction
Last time, we found out why it’s important to be accepting if you want to deepen a friendship. We learned that if you’re too critical, you probably won’t deepen your friendship; in fact, you may even lose the friend. There are other ways not to deepen a friendship. One way is by being disloyal.
- Have students discuss different ways we can be disloyal to a friend. What are some ways we can show our loyalty?
- Ask students to discuss instances when a friend was disloyal to them. How did that make them feel? Did it make them want to become better friends with the person?
- Tell students that in today’s video, we’re going to see why being disloyal is a good way not to deepen a friendship.
▶️ Show the video.
⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.
Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1
What did Zed do that was NotSmart?
He was disloyal to Raj. He said that Raj was his friend, but when Helen began making fun of Raj and criticizing him, Zed agreed with her criticisms and joined in her mocking of Raj. He said Raj was just someone he knows. He was more interested in showing off for Helen than in defending Raj to her. When Raj confronted Zed, he half-heartedly said he was sorry, but it was too little too late.
What happened because Zed was NotSmart?
- He really hurt Raj. Raj thought Zed was his friend, but now he doesn’t know what to think. Now he feels very alone in his new school and his new country.
- As for Zed, he feels guilty for badmouthing Raj behind his back. He also feels terrible knowing that he may have lost Raj as a friend for good.
- Zed has probably also lost Helen’s respect, even though his desire to please her was the main reason he was disloyal to Raj. After all, if he badmouthed Raj behind his back, he probably would do the same to her behind her back. So why would she want to be friends with him?
How could Zed have been PeopleSmart?
Have students discuss how Zed could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation. Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one way Zed could have been PeopleSmart.
▶️ Start the video again.
⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.
Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2
How was Zed PeopleSmart this time?
He didn’t go along with Helen’s criticisms of Raj. He said Raj was his good friend, and he backed up his words with his actions; he remained loyal to Raj. He convinced Helen that she needs to get to know Raj better to find out what a great guy he really is.
What happened because Zed was PeopleSmart?
- By standing up to Helen, he realizes more clearly how much he values his friendship with Raj. Raj felt this in the warmth of Zed’s greeting. Raj and Zed can look forward to becoming better friends.
- Zed earned Helen’s respect by showing his loyalty to Raj. Now she’ll want to become better friends with Zed. And now that Zed has convinced her what a great guy Raj is, she’ll want to get to know him better too. All three will have a terrific time together at the zoo, and probably on many future occasions as well.
What can we learn from this?
- Friends don’t badmouth or gossip about friends behind their backs. Even if you don’t get caught as Zed did, you’ll still feel bad for being disloyal. After all, you wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who was disloyal to you, would you?
- You may think it’s fun getting a laugh from someone at someone else’s expense. But in the long run, people will lose respect for you if you’re always being disloyal to other friends behind their backs. They won’t want to be your friend, because they know you’ll probably be disloyal behind their back as well. That’s a big price to pay just for a cheap laugh.
- Resist pressure from others to be disloyal to friends behind their backs. When you stand up to this kind of pressure, you show how mature you are. You show that being loyal is more important to you than selling out a friend in an attempt to be popular with others. If anyone tries to get you to sell out another friend in order to be their friend, don’t do it; this isn’t someone you’d want to be friends with anyway.
Step 4: Activities
Have students roleplay the NotSmart and PeopleSmart vignettes from the video. After each roleplay, have students discuss how they feel.
Remind students of the earlier discussion of instances when a friend was disloyal to them. Have students roleplay these situations. Have students repeat the role plays, this time being loyal.
Have students form groups of three. If they’re not already friends with each other, instruct them to pretend they are.
- Have one student in each group turn his/her back to the other two while they make up something bad to say behind his/her back, then badmouth their friend in a way similar to what Zed and Helen did in the NotSmart video vignette.
- After they put their friend down, have the friend turn around and tell them how their disloyalty made him/her feel.
- Give all students a chance to play the friend being put down by the other two.
Repeat the above activity, but this time instruct one of the students to stand up to the other student as Zed did in the PeopleSmart video vignette.
Have students form small groups and create and perform rap songs about being loyal. Award prizes for each song’s performance.
Have students:
- Keep a journal of instances in which they are either loyal or disloyal.
- Report their experiences to the class. Have the class assist them in learning from their experiences and developing strategies for being more loyal to their friends.
Have students discuss TV or movie scenes where a character was either loyal or disloyal. Have students roleplay these situations.
Have students identify the negative consequences of being disloyal and the personal benefits of being loyal. Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.