Segment 3: Keep Agreements

Objectives

Students will:

1. Understand why keeping agreements can help turn an acquaintance into a friend
2. Identify negative consequences of breaking agreements
3. Identify personal benefits of keeping agreements
4. Define what trust is
5. Understand the key role that trust plays in keeping agreements and being someone’s friend
6. Understand the importance of reaching a clear mutual understanding of what the agreement is
7. Model successfully reaching a clear mutual understanding of what the agreement is
8. Model successfully keeping an agreement
9. Develop strategies for doing a better job of keeping an agreement

Step 1: Lesson Introduction

Last time, we found out why it’s important to accept invitations if you want an acquaintance to be your friend. We learned that if you don’t accept invitations, you probably won’t become friends with this person. There are other ways to keep an acquaintance from becoming a friend. One of these ways is by not keeping agreements. Have students discuss instances when someone they knew broke an agreement or failed to keep a promise. How did that make them feel? Did it make them want to be the person’s friend? Tell students that in today’s video, we’re going to see why not keeping agreements is a good way to prevent an acquaintance from becoming a friend.

▶️ Show the video.

⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.

Step 2: Guided Discussion, Part 1

What did Justin do that was NotSmart?

• He and Raj got off to a good start; they had a very clear agreement that Justin would return Raj’s bike by 3. But then Justin didn’t return it till 4.
• Even worse, Justin took no responsibility and showed no regret for breaking his agreement. He didn’t even care that Raj was upset. All he cared about was that he got a date with a girl he met.

What happened because Justin was NotSmart?

• He made Raj angry by returning the bike an hour late, then he made Raj even angrier with his irresponsible, uncaring, unapologetic attitude. Raj will be late to work again and probably be fired.
• Now Raj knows that Justin can’t be trusted. This is the last favor he’ll ever do for Justin, and he’ll never want to do anything with Justin again. And he’ll probably tell everyone he knows how untrustworthy Justin is and what a self-centered jerk he is.
• Justin not only has thrown away any chance of being Raj’s friend; he may have a hard time making friends with anyone.

How could Justin have been PeopleSmart?

Have students discuss how Justin could have been PeopleSmart in the same situation. Then tell students to watch the next part of the video to see one way Justin could have been PeopleSmart.

▶️ Start the video again.

⏸️ Stop the video when the “Pause for Discussion” title appears on the screen.

Step 3: Guided Discussion, Part 2

How was Justin PeopleSmart this time?

• He not only returned Raj’s bike on time; he brought it back five minutes early.
• He thanked Raj for loaning him the bike. He told Raj he wouldn’t have gotten the job without it.

What happened because Justin was PeopleSmart?

Raj was happy and relieved. Now he knows he’ll get to work on time. More importantly, he knows Justin can be trusted to keep his word. Because of this, Raj tells Justin he can borrow his bike anytime. Justin says maybe he’ll visit Raj later at the restaurant where Raj works. Justin and Raj have taken a big step toward becoming good friends.

What can we learn from this?

• Trust is one of the tightest bonds that makes people friends. Trust means doing what you say you’ll do, and keeping your word. When you fail to keep an agreement with someone, you shatter that person’s trust in you. And once you shatter someone’s trust, you may never win it back. You may have thrown away any chance of ever being that person’s friend.
• Again, a key part of being someone’s friend and earning their trust is taking responsibility for that person’s well-being. When you break agreements, you show that you’re too self-centered and immature to take responsibility for anyone else’s well-being.
• If you want to be someone’s friend:
• Make sure you’re both very clear on what your agreements are.
• Keep your agreements.
• Don’t make any agreements or promises you can’t keep.

Step 4: Activities 

Have students roleplay the NotSmart and PeopleSmart vignettes from the video. After each roleplay, have students discuss how they feel.

Have students pair off and reach an agreement where each promises to do something.

• Give them suggestions of what these promises might be, for example, bringing something to school the next day, borrowing something, meeting somewhere, or performing some simple task.
• Have each pair state their agreement in front of the class.
• Have them practice reaching a clear mutual understanding of what their agreement is.
• Have each pair report back to the class in a few days on how well each student did in keeping the agreement.

Have students:

• Discuss instances when they a) broke an agreement, or b) kept an agreement.
• Discuss whether they lost or kept a friend or acquaintance because of what they did.
• Roleplay these situations.

Have students relate what they’ve learned about keeping and breaking agreements to daily living in the community. Form teams to research and report instances in which members of the community make or break agreements. For instance:

• A driver’s license represents an agreement to obey traffic laws. What happens if we break this agreement?
• Criminal laws represent the community’s agreements for how we will treat each other and each other’s property. What happens if we break these agreements?
• Manners represent another type of agreement for how we will treat each other. What happens if we break these agreements?
• What form does apologizing take if we break any of these agreements?

Have students relate what they’ve learned about keeping and breaking agreements to current events or history lessons they’ve studied. Form teams to research and report instances in which broken agreements have caused problems in the community and in the world.

Have students:

• Keep a journal of how well they keep agreements in their daily lives.
• Report their experiences to the class. Have the class assist them in learning from their experiences and developing strategies for doing a better job of keeping agreements.

Have students form small groups and create and perform rap songs about making and/ or breaking agreements or promises. Award prizes for each song’s performance.

Have students identify the negative consequences of breaking an agreement and the personal benefits of keeping an agreement. Then have them create separate wall charts listing these consequences.